Shtetl Vision

Sunsets

2012-01-25T02:10:00.000-05:00

are beautiful yet sad. The Sun's beauty is most apparent as it flees over the horizon and takes away its light.

Truck Stop

2011-12-05T12:20:00.003-05:00

We Ride Again / The Boys Are Back In Town

2011-10-24T16:09:00.000-04:00

Impromptu high school best friends clique reunion!
It took years of waiting for this guy to come back from Israel but now a good time will be had by all. For two weeks me and J. can stop saying "What if D. were here?"

Grand Reopening

2011-10-23T20:03:00.002-04:00

Hiatus Ended.
More to follow.

Purim PSA

2011-03-18T13:21:00.001-04:00

The message of this video is really serious.
It's a shame that they had to make most of the video really funny.
If anything a concerned parent watching this is going to say "Well my child doesn't display symptoms of being a 1980's Surfer/Beach Bum/Burn Out so he's probably aidel enough not to need my supervision this purim.

Please have a freilichen BUT safe purim!

My biggest fear of all...

2011-02-10T15:16:00.002-05:00

is...

rather, used to be davenen for the amud, laynen, or doing anything that involved speaking in front of people.
I was even scared to do get aliyos for fear I would fudge up the brachos or do something stupid while everyone in the entire shul is looking at me. You can imagine that my bar mitzvah was the scariest moment of my entire life. As i spit out the parsha as fast as I could the words were audibly distorted by the trembling of my body and the pounding of my chest.

That was the scariest moment of my life until I had to go to be fevered by The Mirrer Rosh Yeshiva in order to be accepted into yeshiva. I was so nervous and petrified that I couldn't speak. I just sat there staring at The Rosh Yeshiva with my mouth agape, sort of in a state of shock. The gabbai grunted a "nu, zog" to snap me back into reality. I was off like a rocket. "hazorek get l'ishto..." "fregt Reb Akiva Eiger a kasha..."
I said the whole pilpul so fast I thought I would be the first bochur to get all the way through one before being accepted or rejected. In retrospect I wonder if R' Nosson Tzvi even understood or even heard a word I said, or if he just figured the easiest way to avoid me throwing up would be by writing that I was accepted.

Fast forward to the present. I am a shliach in a small yeshiva for new bale teshuva. Very few of the bochurim are capable of davening for the amud. On my first day one of the Rabbis looks at me expectingly. I freeze for a moment. Then I realize that this is the best opportunity ever. I have nothing to be afraid of. Even I mess up no one is going to care.

Ive been davening for the amud three times daily for a few weeks now, and although there have been some bumps here and there, everything has for the most part gone smoothly. Now when I go to the amud it comes naturally and I'm not scared at all.

FREE AT LAST FREE AT LAST GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY FREE AT LAST!

Also I highly recommend being a gabbai. You're on top of the world when you are the hander out of aliyos and sayer of mishaberachs. :-P

Darkness - A Poem

2011-01-28T15:08:00.000-05:00

I wrote this poem while I was in Kiev. Enjoy.
Criticism welcome.

When Darkness' heart beats youthfully
and he raises himself over all
when the night feels cold as ever
old as ever
bold as ever
and it seems the sun will rise no more
must I wake the morning?

I finally got a brother (-in-law)!!!!

2011-01-28T12:00:00.000-05:00

Mazal Tov to my dearest sister and her Chosson who celebrated their wedding this past week.
Were so proud of you all grown up!!!!! And were so happy that you have such a wonderful husband.
Mazal Tov to my parents and their mechutanim and all of the family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo!

cyber hording

2011-01-20T03:38:00.000-05:00

I find that I am unable to delete things from G-mail, Facebook, or my computer's hard drive.
I have thousands of e-mails still in my inbox, and loads of documents or files I will probably never ever use.
However, there is a tiny voice in the back of my head that says, "What if?"
"What if you need to read conversations you had a year and a half ago."
So my inbox is endlessly cluttered. Maybe I'm a sucker for nostalgia.
Maybe I'm afraid of losing evidence. Like maybe I won't remember things clearly without the aid of old chat logs and thousands of photographs which aren't of very good quality.
On the other hand, maybe I don't need to remember every thing that has ever happened in fine detail.
Maybe if I "clean up" I could refresh my brain and clear up emotional and intellectual space for focusing on the present. Maybe I have fallen pray to nostalgia and gotten caught in a loop of relating to and falling back on that which I already know, rather than launching myself into the great unknown.
Hrmmmmmm.

I sort of thought up a whole poem I wanted to write about something, but I haven't been able to make myself sit down to do it yet. The main inspiration was snow. I saw the forecast is snow for Friday and I am going to bez"h be in Brooklyn then so maybe I'll put some pen to paper.

Good Night/Good Morning/Good Afternoon world!

The other side of the table

2011-01-18T01:40:00.000-05:00

I'm on shlichus now in yeshiva... teaching bochurim how to learn... helping them make baby steps in limudim.
It is strange BUT exciting to be sitting on the OTHER side of the table.
"no sing the gemara like this..."

My ears hurt

2011-01-12T20:41:00.000-05:00

Deplaned hours ago and they still haven't returned to normal. Chewing gum hasn't helped. If I hold my nose closed and try to blow then the air comes out of my eyes instead of out of my ears...

nu nu. Gam zu letova!

Tommorow morning: Shlichus. I can't believe it is really true. I am a shliach. wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Would have liked to be by The Rebbe for Yud Shevat but The Rebbe said "to be near, go far" and I'm needed.

Interesting fact: It snowed in every single state in the U.S.A except for Florida. Even Hawaii got some snow.

Hope you're all warm and cozy out there in internet land!

The Fall

2011-01-03T03:41:00.001-05:00

I'm peering over the edge and a voice inside my head says "Jump!" and then everything starts to spin. I wobble and teeter dangerously as a nauseous feeling rises in my stomache. The picture is blurred, and the soundtrack is low fidelity raucous racket. Everything is incomprehensible and then I am falling endlessly. Just as I am about to slam into the ground I am suddenly standing back on the edge of the very same cliff from where I have fallen and I have the presence of mind to take a few steps backward and then sit on the ground. I put my head in my knees and rock myself until I fall asleep. Hoping desperately to wake up in a world with much less dangerous topography.

Losing touch... and keeping in touch

2010-12-16T15:12:00.000-05:00

We go through stages in life where we interact with many different people.
Sometimes we think about a certain people that we will always be friends with them or that they will always be a part of our lives. Alot of the time we are wrong. Be it our fault, their fault, or societies fault, we just can not always hang on to everyone or even the majority of people we want to. That's why those few people that you get to keep are so special.

I am eternally blessed and thankful for all the friends I have and am especially thankful to those who have made the concerted effort to keep friendships and social groups even when the lines of communication have become stretched geographically/hashkafically/otherwisely.

The day I got back to NY I received the following call:

Him:
"Hey, I heard your back... so you have to come to ____ this Shabbos."

Me:
"Well I mean I just got back, can't I come next Shabbos?"

Him:
"No, it's a reunion, everyone we went to yeshiva with is going to be there!"

Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!!!!!!!

Feivel comes back west

2010-12-14T14:23:00.000-05:00

Hello again Crown Heights!

What on the schedule for the next forty eight hours?

2010-11-08T18:44:00.000-05:00

Goodbye US of A and hello Kiev, Ukraine!
I am most likely going to be closing this blog down in favor of starting a new slightly different blog. stay posted.
besuros tovos moshiach now!

Back!!!

2010-10-04T16:36:00.001-04:00

Got bumped to first class. Landed at LGA at the same time as YYK and AK. We all took a cab and then ordered empire grill. Hung out on YYKs new fire escape!!!
Today was my second favorite weather : Overcast and rainy.
It's good to be back!

I can't believe I am writing this but...

2010-10-03T03:56:00.000-04:00

I miss Crown Heights. Weirdest feeling ever. Need to go get lost in the throngs in 770. Hang out on roofs.
I didn't take my ride back because I didn't think I could stand so many hours in the car so I'm going to try to get a flight tomorrow. Is it winter yet? I really need to throw some snowballs.

A Bochur's Guide to Dira Safety

2010-09-21T19:09:00.003-04:00

Congratulations! You, a bochur, are the proud new resident of a dira in Geula/Bais Yisroel/Crown Heights/Flatbush/Other. Before you dare inhabit your bochur pad it is important that you be well aware of how to inhabit a dira safely. It is very likely that your dira has not been renovated in years. There are potential hazards awaiting at every turn rachmana letzlan. Have no fear (except yiras shomayim) for you can be safe in this hazardous environment as long as you take the necessary precautions.

Step 1: Surveying
Survey the entire dira and memorize the floor plan. Locate as many exits as possible (Doors, windows, crawl spaces, ventilation shafts, etc.) In the event of an emergency, having only one or two escape routes planned may not suffice as it is statistically probable that your path will be blocked by any number or obstacles strewn haphazardly across the floor by you and your dira mates.

Step 2: Identify Hazards
You'r dira is full of things which could be potentially dangerous.
Depending on when your dira was constructed or last renovated, there may be hazards related to dilapidation.

Check to ensure that drywall and plastering on walls and ceilings is holding nicely. If the walls are starting to fall apart... move your bed to the other side of the room.

Next check to make sure the face plates on electrical sockets are attached firmly. In my dira they were not, and fell off. In the middle of the night while looking for something between my bed and the wall I electrocuted myself.

If your dira is in Eretz Yisroel (or in any third world country) it is entire possible that you have a toilet that looks something like this:

Check to ensure that the tank is attached firmly to the wall. I know someone personally who had a loose tank fall off of the wall and pin them down leaving them unable to get up, desperately shouting for help. That is not a situation you want to be in. Bochurim should never ever be seen needing help, and certainly not while on the toilet!

If you ever encounter a knob, lever, button, or switch and are unsure of what it does... don't press it!

That should be self explanatory but sometimes curiosity can get the best of a bochur with a head for iyun.

If you encounter any type of unidentifiable fixture in your dira, never stick your finger inside of it. What appeared to be a strange horn protruding from the wall (at first glance you assumed it to be some sort of alarm) was really a light fixture and now you have rachmana litzlan been electrocuted for the second time in one week!

Look out for Bio-hazards. Yeah it seems really cool that this dira came with a fridge but who knows what has been left inside there and for how long. Approach with severe caution. Don a gas mask or some other type of respiratory/olfactory protection. Open all of the windows. If there are other bochurim in your dira I highly suggest trying to get someone else to be the one who looks inside for a peek. If what you see inside is traumatic and unmentionable slam the door shut immediately. Get someone to remove this fridge from the dira and then never speak of it again. If bugs fly out... RUN!!!!!!!

Other hazards may include things such as magazines (Sports Illustrated, Time, ESPN), novels (most likely Tom Clancy, John Grisham, or Oliver North), and movies (only the ones you have already seen before of course, because you definitely don't watch any new ones.)

3. To and From Your Dira

Lastly, always make sure you have a safe way to get between your dira and the zal or wherever else you may go. Depending on the time of day or night certain streets may not be safe to travel on. Late at night try to take well lit main streets as much as possible. If you are going somewhere you are not meant to be going you are going to need to weigh the dangers. Would you rather be safe but seen in public going where you shouldn't or should you risk bodily harm but avoid the ever watchful eye of rebbeim/friends/yungerleit/other spies.

Shluff and Shteig Safely!

WE GOT A CHOSSON WE GOT A CHOSSON WE GOT A CHOSSON!

2010-09-20T19:57:00.000-04:00

Mazal Tov to my wonderful lil sister and her chosson on getting engaged last week.
Me and my sister are incredibly close (we are the only two children, and we don't really talk to our parents about certain things they just wouldn't understand about being young n' frum) so for the past year or so as she fretted and worried about dating and all of its ups and downs and about how she really wants to get married and all that stuff, I really felt for her. So when I found out that she is getting engaged you can imagine how amazingly happy I was and excited/nervous to meet the chosson and his family.

I went to the small L'chaim at the chosson's house - not knowing what to expect - with YYK and his fancy camera in tow. I was really nervous because I was representing our entire family (My parents are coming in for the vort.) B"H the chosson is a real mensch and his family is really really really nice. Now were back OOT for the yom tov but the chosson got a local florist to deliver flowers and a teddy bear... so cute!

Everything is so exciting. It seems like it's really stressful for the chosson and kalla... all the planning and such. I sort of just get to soak in the simcha without any stress. So I was nice and went wedding shopping with her and I even agreed to wear a tie that matches the color scheme of the wedding party (soooo lame :-P) and then I even didn't choose the tie that I liked best because she didn't go for it. The lengths you'll go to to make your lil kalla sister happy lol.

Oddly Specific!

2010-09-19T10:47:00.000-04:00

Digging through the archives about this website which features oddly specific and strange or ironic signs, posters, etc... I came across this!

yay now the whole world is enjoying this sign on the side of 770!

Ksiva Vachasima Tova Leshana Tova Umisuka

2010-09-07T18:00:00.000-04:00

may this year be a year of blessings where we enter the year with the revelation of Moshiach Tzidkeinu. It should be his will that among all of klal yisroel, whoever needs refuos or yeshuos or kochos or parnasa or a shidduch or anything else should get exactly what they need.

If I have wronged anyone in anyway I hope you are mochel me.

with blessings for a sweet New Year,

Feivel

Hayom Yom Huledet

2010-09-01T00:21:00.002-04:00

Shel habaal hablog

For once (in a revealed sense) my mashpia knows what I'm thinking?

2010-08-11T02:09:00.001-04:00

Been trying recently to have a serious conversation with my mashpia.
I text him today, "can I call you tonight?"
He responds, "I will be in Crown Heights... we'll speak in person."
I see him. He immediately knows what it is that I wanted to talk about and broaches the subject.
IY"H soon I will be entering a brand new tekufah!

Also, a friend from home, and the owner of the pickup trick which we will use for the sukkah mobile, was in for a wedding. We had a preliminary meeting about sukkos mivtzoim and spoke about how everything will work this upcoming sukkos if CH"V Moshiach should not redeem us beforehand. With Hashem's help this year's mivztoim will be more organised and more productive and more outreaching than ever.

Goodnight Blogovelt!

American Yeshiva Bochur hit by Bus on Admo"r M'Lubavitch street in Eretz Yisroel

2010-08-09T01:58:00.000-04:00

via The Yeshiva World

Please daven for a refuah shelaima for the bochur and the other woman, and all those among Klal Yisroel in need of a refuah shelaima including my mother, Mindel Malka bas Chaya Sarah and my sister Esther Kalya bas Mindel Malka.

What is love?

2010-08-05T05:33:00.000-04:00

"What is love? Baby don't hurt me"

This is the chorus to the 1993 song by Haddaway, later popularized by the 1998 hit move "Night at the Roxbury"

I was sitting learning in 770 when this song suddenly came into my head.
"Why has this entered into my head?" I thought as I sat learning Chitas.
I began to think deeply on this trivial thing (ADD will do that to you.)
I was reminded of the 42nd chapter of Tanya where the Alter Rebbe explains that even though fearing Hashem is connected to moving away from evil, however, it is impossible to serve Hashem at all, without first prefacing fear. That means that one can not do anything meaningful out of love without first respecting Hashem and not wanting to go against his will. The same can be said of interpersonal relationships. One can not love another if one is willing to do do that which is harmful or not in the best interest of the other person.
Hashem should give us the strength to treat each other with love, and not chas v'shalom do anything hurtful to one another.

We should have ahavas chinam, and as The Rebbe mentions in many sichos, when the reason is nullified the effects are nullified, and since the underlying reason for our golus is sinas chinam, when that will be rectified, surely the geulah shelaima will come, with Hashem's help and our effort, immediately!

A midsummer's night eve... In brooklyn

2010-08-05T04:22:00.000-04:00

No fireflies,
Firetrucks flying by,
No stars,
Wannabes,
The only constant: I am awake at this hour.

Shtetl Vision Exclusive: A fixture in 770 replaced!

2010-08-04T03:53:00.000-04:00

You read it here first folks, a fixture in 770 has been replaced! The old water fountain, which I recently commented to a friend, "this has to be one of the world water fountains I have ever drinken from," has been replaced by a water machine reminiscent of those found in offices. Pictures tommorow maybe.

Please vote for schools on Kohls Cares on facebook!

2010-08-03T03:23:00.000-04:00

You should vote for the Jewish institution of your choice but I voted for

Hebrew Academy School of Margate Florida (went there)
Yeshiva Atlanta (went there)
Yeshiva Ohr Yisrael of Atlanta (a school many I know went to)
South Florida Academy of Learning (My family is close with the shluchim who run it)

Vote!

Love is in the air

2010-07-30T00:57:00.000-04:00

This week was tu b'av and this week's parsha speaks many times about love.
I have what to write, but haven't gotten around to writing it. Hopefully I'll write before Shabbos, but maybe after.
Hope everyone is having a lovely time doing whatever it is they do!

Dance, Dance, Dance!

2010-07-28T22:20:00.000-04:00

Now that we have passed the bitter days leading up to and including Tisha B'Av, and have entered the period of consolation, I present this video compilation of Jewish music and dancing.

Through avoda b'simcha may we merit the ultimate simcha of the ultimate redemption!

Kids make the most geshmake things

2010-07-18T21:28:00.000-04:00

We were sitting by the Shabbos table talking about how everyone is shown the Third Bais Hamikdash on Shabbos Chazon. The baal habos' daughter made something really cute in Bais Rivkah. It was two paper cups put together to be like binoculars. The ends were cut off, and over the wide end was pasted a picture of the Bais Hamikdash. You could look through the "binoculars" and see the Bais Hamikdash. I fondly remember making such projects when I was a child. With Hashem's help may we merit to spend Tisha B'av rejoicing in the Bais Hamikdash with The Rebbe, all of the tzaddikim of all of the doros, and all of Klal Yisroel!

Graph: What "Bli Neder" Implies

2010-07-15T21:42:00.002-04:00

Chassidishket and Frumkeit

2010-07-04T17:46:00.000-04:00

From a recent op-ed on crownheights.info

"Without a solid base and clear understanding of the Halachic does and don'ts of yiddishkeit, everything is filed
under some vague grouping of chassidishkeit"

This point was sort of buried within the article but I believe it to be one of the most important points made. I agree 100 percent. I have seen others do, and I have myself, done things which are clear aveiros even bfarhesya with the rationalized excuse of "well its not so chassidish but... neither am I."

Chassidishkeit is lifnim mshuras hadin.
Frumkeit is shuras hadin.

You have to understand din which is Hashem's ratzon, in order to stay within the dalet amos of Halacha.
The only dalet amos where the schina rests and Hashem save us from chas v'shalom going outside of them.
Firstly we must save ourselves by studying carefully.

It must be that there is widespread misunderstanding of certain halachos because there are things done often publicly, often intentionally, and often shamelessly, rachmana ltzlan, but people who would never ever chas vshalom eat a cheeseburger in the street. Yet people walk in the street with trim beards, or no beards at all, or impermissible dress, but still hold themselves to be frum.

Chazal tell us Am Hoaretz Lo Chasid.

If we want to be Chassidim we should for sure at least be frum.

With Hashem's help and our own diligence we should see all of our problems healed and merit the impending hisgalus of moshiach and the geula shelaima, takif umiyad mamish!

extended AFK

2010-06-27T00:52:00.000-04:00

The bochur who ran the wireless network in my place of residence got hitched and moved out.

I have decided not to subscribe myself to the internet and therefore my internet access is very limited.

I intend to continue writing posts and then just posting them when i get access at YYKs.

It feels great when...

2010-06-17T20:03:00.000-04:00

You put on a pair of pants one Friday and you can just barely squeeze into them, but the next Friday you can barely keep them unless you wear a belt.

Antisemitism in Crown Heights

2010-06-17T03:13:00.000-04:00

Three times. Three times in five days.

Instance 1:

I am walking home from Shabbos lunch. As i walk past a goy he starts muttering under his breath. He articulates, "If yall think what Hitler did to yall was bad, wait till you see what I will do."

Well, the first thing I did was go to the police and file a complaint as a result of your threat against the public. The officers of the 71st police precinct were quite accommodating. They knew that for me its Shabbos so they would have to do all the writing but they happily filled out all the paperwork. The second in command at the precinct asked to speak to me. We talked about what happened. He is a big fan of The Rebbe. He assured me this would be taken seriously. Since the police didn't hear your verbal threat they can't straight up arrest you. However, he assured me that if they find you they are going to make things difficult for you, and run you for warrants.

Instance 2:

I go into the bodega by troy and lincoln. As I walk down the street a Rastafarian type man greets me. I stop and begin to chat with him. About 10 yards away there are three or four other shvartzes leaning against a car. They see this man talking to me. One shouts out, "Yo brother... why are you talking to that [expletive] Jew???" He responds, "Chill, he's cool." Not good enough. "No, he's a [expletive] Jew." We both walk towards them. One of them says "Hitler should have finished yall off."

Instance 3:

Two co-workers and I are walking home from work. A young shvartz on a bicycle rides by. He slows down, looks back at us, grins, and exclaims, "HIIITTTLLERRRRRRRR." Can you really be so stupid. I didn't want to start a fight in this neck of the woods but its almost as if this kid did not understand that had his people lived in Europe then they would have been in the same boat.

aschalta d'geulah

2010-06-15T19:25:00.000-04:00

3rd Tammuz, 5687

not

5th Iyar, 5708

;-)

No Streimlach or Spodiks in Lubavitch

2010-06-11T18:26:00.001-04:00

Since we don't know how to take care of hats.

Musical memories, watery eyes, and how we cope

2010-06-07T03:30:00.001-04:00

It is past 3 AM and I am still up.

No particular reason.

Just forgot to go to sleep.

I log onto facebook and notice I got a message.

Further investigation shows that the message is actually a personal one, and not spam from some group or event.

A former roommate of mine made a good quality recording of a song and he wants me to have a listen.

I hit play.

The words start and I am hit by a tidal wave of memories.

He wrote this song with... Dovid.

It has been three months since Dovid passed away.

I can see and hear Dovid playing guitar and singing.

His infectious joy making everyone smile.

We are laughing and horsing around.

Its late at night but this is the room that never sleeps.

Everyone has a beer and sings along.

My eyes get watery with tears which I hold back.

I don't know why I don't let myself cry.

I go to Dovid's facebook wall.

His friends still post on it sometimes.

My roommate posted a link to the song.

Someone told you about how they got a job teaching martial arts.

Someone told you about how life in general is going.

Someone wrote about how they can't wait until the next time yall get to jam together.

Everyone wrote "we miss you."

I haven't really dealt with your passing because I was so scared and so torn up that I drowned out those thoughts and feelings. I couldn't deal with the idea that I won't be seeing you anymore. That we aren't going to get slushies at 711, or driving to some "haunted road" that we read about on the internet. We aren't hanging out anymore.
So I look at things like your on vacation. Pretty soon you'll come back, and we'll all hang out in eretz yisroel together.

Beer in Bobov, Lokshen in Lelov

2010-06-06T14:22:00.002-04:00

Coors. Lots and lots of forty ounce bottles. Barely touched.
What a waste. Silly Bobovers.

Dropped into the Lelover Rebbe's tish too. Went with a friend. The shirayim soup was making its way to our end of the table. I could see the troubled look on my friend's face. It got to him. He tried to play the trump card of all not-sharing-food excuses.

"I have strep"

"so what?"

"so I really shouldn't eat shirayim with this spoon or else the next person will get sick"

"So take with your hands!"

"I can't"

"Yes you can!"

People were looking.
I am sure that the Lelovers understood what was going on.
Bested, he took.

The Dangers of Disney

2010-06-03T22:01:00.000-04:00

I have often thought about how the Disney movies I watched as a kid actually contained terrible messages, and how many people I grew up with had incredibly dramatic adolescent years as a result of having been instilled with the wrong attitudes and expectations.
I have thought about writing on this topic before but another blogger has beat me to the punch.
Without further ado, Mushka in Wonderland via Candy Hearts.

Breaking up is hard to do...

2010-06-03T01:20:00.002-04:00

Everyone knows breaking up with chavrusas is hard.
So hard that Aryeh Kunstler wrote "The Chavrusa Break Up Song"
I have a terrible track record with chavrusas.
We were always either such good friends that we joked around the whole time, or didn't get along at all and I resented them so much that I hated learning, or one of us wasn't serious enough and we didn't show up all the time, or for all of seder. Maybe one day I will find someone who I can just sit down with and learn. Someone who want's to break their head over a sugya, learn slowly b'iyun rav, and is still pleasurable to chat with in small doses for breaks.

Here are some break up lines you can try using.
Special thanks to anyone who saw this list before I posted it, and made suggestions or gave me input.
You know who you are.

1. I love learning with you, but I'm not in love with learning with you.
2. I like Rashi, and you like Tosfos. It's never going to work.
3. I think we should learn with other people
5. I think you should come to my apartment and get your pens, notebooks, and sefarim...
6. I met this guy in the coffee room...
7. We're on completely different dafim.
8. I'm just going to get a kovetz. I'll be right back.
9. I need more space. I'm moving to the other side of zal and I don't do long distance.
10. My mashpia says you're holding me back.
11. Your chiddushim are great, they just aren't like my Tatty used to make them.
12. You're more interested in Tosfos than you are in me.
13. Your all shakla and no tarya
14. About your derech halimud... I don't swing that way.
15. I'm sorry but you just dont have enough meforshim in the back of your Gemara.

The olam is invited to critique, comment, and share their own.

The heat has arrived

2010-05-31T01:17:00.000-04:00

Its a million degrees in this here basement and I am faced with a dilemma.

I could open the window to try to cool it down a bit but the screen is broken and bugs will get in.

I decide to chance it.

It doesn't help.

Now I am swimming in shvitz AND the bugs are getting me.

I should get a fan.

Two summers ago I was still in Yerushalayim Ir Hakodesh.

The summer there can be absolutely brutal.

Our dorm did not have air conditioning.

We had a room on the corner of the building.

The corner rooms have windows on two walls!

We opened them up and plugged in four different fans which blew cool air all around the room.

Two were aimed directly at the couch.

Geshmake!

Summer is here.

For most of winter I waited for this.

After a few weeks I will begin dreaming of snow again.

A Jewish Wedding - Prelude Part 2

2010-05-27T02:41:00.000-04:00

Its 2:32 AM.

Today:

Learned a bissel - Check
Shomered YYK - Check
Made sure maintenance man fixed the light fixtures, light switches, and toilet seat in YYK's apartment - Check
We got a hacksaw - Check
sawed off window bars and installed A/C - Check
Shlepped over the other bed - not yet
Picked up his Kapote - Check
Stayed up till the friends from down south showed up - Check
Walked one of them to where he is staying while wearing shorts and a t-shirt - Check (B"H it was 2 AM lol)
Took shower - Check
Sleep - hopefully will be Check

A Jewish Wedding - Prelude

2010-05-26T19:21:00.000-04:00

Tommorow, Bez"h, a close friend of mine, who I have had the privilege of having as a roommate and a confidante, is getting married. He, being the chosson, is probably very nervous. But there are definitely other parties that are nervous. Maybe not equally nervous but nervous none-the-less. I am sure that I speak for numerous individuals who count themselves among his friends when I say, "Mazal Tov, but you sure as all hell better not forget your crew." It feels terrible to say, because I know YYK would never do that, but in some sort of scary way it feels like I have to give something up... Like when we walk from the Chosson's Tish to the bedeken were dropping off OUR chosson sheyichiyeh and now he is all grown up and flying the coop. In some sort of way I feel like what I think parents feel like when their children graduate and leave home. There goes OUR chossson, OUR bochur. Out into the real world, bigger, and greater things... bla bla bla.
We'll be watching as you stretch your wings and fly away. Make sure to visit or call or send a postcard!!!!

Pashkevil: Go Out and Fight - The Desecration of Graves in Yaffo

2010-05-25T16:58:00.004-04:00

free translation:
GO OUT AND FIGHT TOMORROW!
The blood of our holy fathers entombed in Ashkelon and Yaffo cries out to us with a silent cry from the charred earth:
"Save us please from the hands of the sinners of israel that stretch out to disturb our resting."

...
...
...

We will be going out tommorow, yom shlishi, parshas Behaalosecha, 9 AM

Under the leadership of:
HaGaon Hatzadik Rabbi Chaim Tzvi Teitelbaum Shlit"a,
Av Beis Din and Rosh Mesivta of Kahal Yativ Lev of Satmar Yerushalayim
and
HaRabbanim Hagaonim Shlit"a of Kahala Kadisha Toldos Aharon

Why Villains in Scooby Doo Are Arrested

2010-05-25T15:39:00.001-04:00

and every episode seems to be based around devaluing real estate by making people think it is haunted.

Still... my favorite cartoon as a kid.

Note: I did not make this graph, just saw it on GraphJam.

Disclaimer: I do not vouch for the content of the website GraphJam and there may be graphs there that you may find offensive/crude.

Night Terrors

2010-05-24T06:52:00.001-04:00

Because Nightmares are overrated.

I never seem to have those stereotypical dreams where you fall for eternity, or are haunted, or anything good like that. So far the best proper nightmare I had involved ice cream being served as lunch in Morristown. Just as soon as I sat down to enjoy it a van drove through the wall and lots of guys with machine guns jumped out and started spraying. Nothing can ruin like ice cream lunch like a war zone breaking out.

On average though, my nightmares are of a much more vile and menacing type. They are more or less wholly mundane situations that are excruciatingly annoying, and seem to take place over several hours.

My mother, my sister, and I were about to play mini golf. We wanted to play on one of the courses, but they wanted to make us play the course we didn't want to play. That was a whole fight. Then my sister said she wasn't feeling well but the course doctor (yes, in my dreams miniature golf courses have an on sight medical staff) was not buying it. I wanted to go home but even in my dreams I don't have a car or license. So I was forced to stand around for eternity watching the back and forth while really not wanting to be there. My mother and the doctor accuse my sister of purposefully injuring herself. I have been sleeping in the car and when we finally drive home I am in a daze and don't hear a bunch of things my mother says to me and subsequently get in trouble. The dream ends with me reading a note my mother wrote that says not to be so nice to my sister, and that some of her habits (which seem to be completely normal for a girl her age) are in fact evil and must be stopped.

SERIOUSLY??? There aren't any bogeymen or demons or stuff that makes you wake up sweating after a few minutes? Must my bad dreams be so dull that they take up hours of time?

In my most annoying dream I got kicked off of a bus and had to walk six miles down a straight country road to get back to town.

Good dreams rarely come and when they do they seem to last only a few minutes.

The one chassidisher chalom I think I ever had involved going to a yechidus by The Rebbe RaSHaB.
That was really warm and positive feeling but it was over as quick as it started.

So now, at 6:51 am, I am going back to sleep and maybe just maybe there is something worthwhile for me to dream about. I know I should be getting up now but what can I do? This doesn't fall into the parameters of hachlotos I have taken and I am too stressed out and groggy to begin my day now.

So for those of you getting up, maybe in my dreams we will be having a crazy adventure, but more likely we will be sitting in a doctor's office, or taking a math test.

Being a Shomer is exciting!!!

2010-05-23T18:30:00.000-04:00

For maysim not so much but for a chosson it can be quite exciting.
We were walking on Troy (Eastern Parkway being the proverbial tracks that this could be considered the wrong side of) when the call came.

"The Kalla is where? But that's heading in our direction. How far? Two blocks away?"

"RUN!!!!!!!!!!!"

So, we dashed across the street and around the corner and onto a dark street I would never normally walk down leaving the resident goyim confused as to from who or what we were running.

Chareidi Autonomy in Yerushalayim!?

2010-05-17T15:41:00.001-04:00

I always thought this was just around the corner...

The alarmist post about marriage and shidduchim

2010-05-13T22:03:00.000-04:00

It is starting to happen.
The second guy from my shana aleph (and my third friend my age) just got engaged.
From what I read, if I were a girl I would be freaking out right now.
I am not freaking out BUT it does feel weird... almost like there is a race and we are all running trying to get to the finish line. When we all wished him mazal tov he smiled radiantly and beamed, "Im yirtze Hashem by all of you soon!" and though I know he really meant him, a part deep inside of me thought that a part deep inside of him was saying "Ha, I win! I'm done. Now I can hoist my trophy, and then relax and drink some Gatorade (OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG ITS ONE THOUSAND TIMES BETTER THAN POWERADE I LOVE YOU ORTHODOX UNION) while you guys are still running and running."
Then, I thought to myself... I haven't been running very hard. Uh oh.

Then I saw a Rabbi I haven't seen in a long time. I really never had much to do with him but I had to go up to him to make fun of his favorite hockey team's embarassing early exit from the playoffs. We laughed and made a bit of small talk. Then he commented about my new suit, and how "shtoddy" (am I the only person who thinks this word sounds stupid?) it looks for shidduchim.

I spent the night at a friend's house. In the morning I met his mother for the first time. As I drank coffee and ate cereal (I didn't think anyone would offer me, them being yeshivish and all) I was interviewed.
Where am I from?
Oh? do I know X?
Where am I learning?
What am I learning?
How old am I?
etc etc etc

I thought to myself, wow this woman is being nice and having a conversation with me even though she really has better stuff to do. (Which in all honesty, she probably was doing... but there had to be alterior motives too. She was too interested)
Until...

"Oh okay. I know about this Lubavitch girl. A good girl from the sound of it."

So I said,

"Listen, I really don't think I'm ready to get married. I only just started smicha and I'm just not ready."

So she said,

"Are you sure?? Let me just take your name and number and when your ready I will call you. You never know, some things are bashert!"

So I tell her my name and number.

"Okay, so when will you be ready?"

"Ummm I don't know???? Later!?"

Better get my stuff together.

Davening by Kivrei Tzaddikim. Part 1.

2010-05-09T18:33:00.001-04:00

An argument broke out over on Bad4Shidduchim about the permissibility of addressing tzaddikim directly when you daven at their kevarim and asking them to act as a melitz. I believe Nosson G. from http://gtorah.com/ said it sounded like Avodah Zara, and Mekubal from http://hamekubal.blogspot.com/ maintained that it is the actual issur of dirush meisim. I maintained that not only is it permissible, but that you are meant to do it.
It is certainly the minhag of Chabad, the minhag of Chassidim, and has much deeper roots.
Here are some sources.

Firstly,

please see the entire text of the Maaneh Lashon

http://www.ohelchabad.org/media/pdf/46/PFmk466495.pdf

and note the section taken from Zohar Acherei Mos Pg. 70b

and specifically this:

“R. Chizkiyah and R. Yeissa then rose and went on their way.
‘Certainly,’ they said, ‘when there are no righteous in the world, the
world is sustained only by the dead.’
“R. Yeissa asked: ‘Why, when rain is needed for the world, do we go
[and pray] at [the resting place of] the dead? For the Torah forbids [us to]
“inquire of the dead.”’
“He replied: ‘You have not yet seen the wing of the Bird of Eden.’.
The ‘dead’ to whom the verse refers are those who may certainly be
termed dead, i.e., the sinners of the heathen who are forever dead. But
of Israel who are truly righteous, Solomon says: “And I praise the dead,
for they are already dead”; i.e., they have died in the past, but now they
are living.
“‘Furthermore, when other peoples visit their dead, they come with
magic to arouse evil spirits upon themselves. When, by contrast, the Jews
visit their dead, they come in profuse repentance before the Holy One,
blessed be He, with a contrite heart and with fasting. This is all with the
intent that the holy Neshamos entreat the Holy One, blessed be He, for
mercy on their behalf — and then, for their sake, He has compassion on
the world.
“‘In regard to this, we have learnt: A righteous man even when he
departs from this world, does not [truly] rise above or vanish from any
world. For he is to be found in all worlds more than in his lifetime. In
his lifetime, he is found only in this [material] world, but afterwards, he
is found in three worlds, and accessible therein. This is alluded to by the
verse, “Young maidens ( עלמות ) love you.” Do not read עלמות , “young
maidens,” but rather עולמות , “worlds.” Happy is their lot.’”
We have learned: It is written, “May the Nefesh of my lord be
bound in the bond of life.” Why does the verse say “the Nefesh of my

lord”? [Seemingly,] “the Neshamah of my lord” would be more
appropriate. [In resolution, it can be said, that] as mentioned above,
happy is the lot of the righteous, for all [three levels of the soul] are
bound together, the Nefesh with the Ruach, the Ruach with the Neshamah,
and the Neshamah with the Holy One, blessed be He. Thus, even the
Nefesh [of the righteous] is “bound in the bond of life.”
R. Elazar said: “The Companions said that it is forbidden to exile a
Torah scroll from one synagogue to another, all the more so to bring it
out into the street. Why then [do we take it] into the street [when
praying for rain]?”
R. Yehudah replied: “As we have explained, so that [the dead] may
be aroused because of it and entreat for the world.”
R. Abba said: “When the Shechinah was exiled, it was also exiled
from place to place until it said, ‘If only I could be in the wilderness, in
a lodging place for wayfarers!’ Similarly, in this instance, [the scroll] is
first taken from synagogue to synagogue, then into the street, then to
‘the wilderness, the lodging place of wayfarers.’”
R. Yehudah said: “In Babylon, they are afraid to take [a Torah scroll]
even from synagogue to synagogue, all the more so [into the street].”
It has been taught that R. Shimon said to the companions: “In my
days the world will not require this.”
R. Yosei said to him: “The righteous shield the world in their
lifetime, and after their death even more than during their lifetime. This
is reflected in the verse: ‘I will defend this city, saving it for My own
sake and for the sake of My servant David.’ In David’s lifetime, this was
not said.”
R. Yehudah said: “Why does the verse state ‘for My own sake and
for the sake of My servant David,’ putting [David] on a par [with God
Himself, as it were]? — Because David was found worthy of being
connected with the Holy Chariot of the Patriarchs, and therefore all is
one.Blessed be He forever and ever.”

and see Shailos U'Tshuvos Maharam Shick Orach Chaim V'Even Hoezer #293

and please see this Halacha Yomit from Rav Ovadia Yosef

ש נוהגים ללכת בערב ראש השנה לבית הקברות. ואמרו בגמרא במסכת תענית (דף טז.) למה יוצאים לבית הקברות בתענית ציבור? לומר, הרי אנו נחשבים כמו מתים, וכדי שהמתים יבקשו עלינו רחמים. ועוד אמרו רבותינו, מפני מה נסתתר קברו של משה רבינו מעיני בשר ודם? מפני שגלוי וידוע לפני הקדוש ברוך הוא שבית המקדש עתיד להחרב וישראל יגלו מארצם, ואם יבאו לקברו של משה רבינו ויעמדו בבכיה ויתחננו למשה לעמוד בתפילה בעדם, יעמוד משה ויבטל את הגזירה, מפני שחביבים צדיקים במתתם יותר מבחייהם. ולפיכך יש נוהגים להתפלל אצל קברי הצדיקים, ובפרט בערב ראש השנה. וכן כתב הרמ"א בהלכות ראש השנה, שבערב ראש השנה הולכים לבית הקברות להרבות שם בתפילות.
אלא שכתב מרן הרב עובדיה יוסף שליט"א, שההולך לבית הקברות, לא ישים מגמתו נגד המתים, שכאילו הם יושיעו אותו ויעזרו לו, אלא יבקש רחמים מהשם יתברך בזכות הצדיקים שוכני עפר. ואם ירצה יוכל לבקש מן הנפטר שיהיה לו למליץ טוב, לבקש עליו רחמים מהשם יתברך.

Special thanks to Parsha Blog over at parsha.blogspot.com for having posted some of these maareh m'komos.

More later.

Poem #1

2010-05-09T10:19:00.000-04:00

Upon hearing the command,
climb up out of the trench,
backed by symphonic cacophonous thunderous explosive concussive earth shaking booming,
acrid smoke allows for low visibility and asthmatic air intake,
charging with Godspeed,
caught by a speeding streaming silver bullet,
a shot placed prudently and precariously in the throat,
inability to scream,
collapse and crumple into the bloody kill zone dirt,
fingers clawing at the earth,
crawling towards tantalizing comforting but treacherous death,
a singular ray of screaming streaming beaming light,
a familiar face,
warm and innocent,
awake unscathed.

(This is the first poem I wrote in years. The idea was formulated months ago when I wrote that I will write a poem but I only got around to it last night.)

Retro Style Platform Flash Game - Mr. Runner

2010-05-07T15:12:00.001-04:00

WARNING: Not to be played During seder or while you are supposed to be doing your homework / helping the wife / picking up the kids / mowing the lawn / cooking dinner etc.

Its pixely, fun, and challenging.
Reminiscent of oooooold platform jumpers.

Game after the jump!

Flash Junkies

Flash Junkies

My post regarding davening by kivrei tzaddikim

2010-05-07T02:14:00.002-04:00

will be posted either motzei shabbos or sunday night.
I figured its best not to be hasty and to write something worthwhile rather than rushing it tonight (as I had previously said) when I didn't have enough time.
My apologies.

A Glimpse Into A Soul

2010-05-06T06:22:00.002-04:00

via Chabad.info

The best way to get a glimpse into the high neshamah of Nosson Deitsch, 21, who was tragically taken in an accident on Lag Ba’Omer in Tampa, Florida (where he had gone to help a Chabad Shliach with his Lag Ba’Omer event), is to look at his daily schedule.

7 a.m.: mikvah.

7:30: mark down who came to Chassidus on time (he was themashgiach).

7:30 – 9:00: listen to Hagaon Harav Yoel Kahn’s taped shiurimon Shaar Hayichud v’Ha-emunah (chelek of Tanya containing deepest concepts of Chassidus).

9:00 – 9:30: review Likutei Amarim Tanya which he knew by heart, all 53 chapters. He knew them perfectly, word for word, letter for letter, with all the haga’osand tikunim.

9:30: daven Shacharis, every word said loudly and clearly, followed by Tehillim

10:30 – eat breakfast in 10 minutes

10:45 – 2:00 p.m. – learn b’chavrusa Hilchos Issur v’Heter, with Gemara, (with plan to eventually seek semichah), every word said out loud, with full concentration.

2:00 – 3:45 minchah and lunch. Nosson would eat quickly and then use his lunch time to call his mother (his father, Reb Zalman Yuda, z”l, passed away three years ago); eleven siblings; uncles; aunts; friends; cousins; and anyone who might need to speak with him. Nosson would use the remainder of his lunch break to learn three perakim of Yad HaChazakah by the Rambam, a takanah instituted by the Rebbe, in 1984/5744. He also fit in his daily shiur of Chumash and Tanya now.

3:45 – 7:00: back to Issur v’Heter.

7:00: He would eat supper within 10 minutes. Ever since his little cousin, Alta Shula Swerdlov, a”h,was killed in a tragic bus accident in Jerusalem eight months ago, Nosson would learn (during supper break) for 20 minutes the ma’amarim of the Frierdiker Lubavitcher Rebbe, the Rebbe Rayatz, zt”l, in zchus of his young cousin.

7:30 – 8:00: Nosson would learn Shulchan Aruch Harav with a baal teshuvah who is relatively new to the daily practice of mitzvos

8:00 – 9:30: Nosson would choose five of the younger bachurim with whom to learn the Rebbe Rashab’s ma’amarim.

9:30: Maariv. Afterwards, Nosson would learn a sichah of the Rebbe.

10:30: Despite being a very sociable person who enjoyed time with friends, and who enjoyed playing an occasional basketball game, Nosson tried to be asleep by 11:30 at the latest, in order to be able to learn in top form the next day.

Nosson was the youngest of twelve children of the chossid and baal tzedakah, Reb Zalman Yuda,z”l, and tbl”ch Mrs. Cyrel (nee Edelman) Deitsch. Mrs. Deitsch is the daughter of respected Chabad Shluchim to Springfield, Mass., Rabbi Dovid and Rebbetzin Leah Edelman, who were sent there by the Frierdiker Rebbe in 1949.

Nosson was named after Rebbetzin Leah Edelman’s uncle, Harav Nosson Nota Zuber, z”l, who was a tomim and learned in Lubavitch (both the city and the yeshivah), and was boki b’Shaas.

Nosson Deitsch, too, was well known for being an outstanding masmid and a “top bachur.”

Like his father before him, Nosson would reward younger bachurim as well as his many nephews,kein yirbu, for learning Tanya b’al peh. He got them excited about learning Tanya, and he knew that mitoch shelo lishma ba lishma.

Like his father before him, Nosson was a Lubavitcher chossid with his entire heart, soul, and all hiskochos. Every Sunday he would write a letter to the Rebbe and fax it to the Ohel, where it would be torn up by a secretary and left at the grave. What he wrote in those letters is not known.

During a free Shabbos or bein hazemanim, Nosson would help Chabad shluchim. He traveled all over, wherever there was a need, leading programs, learning and putting on Tefillin with Yidden, and adding tochen and freilichkeit to Chabad events.

He made a tremendous impact on the people he met. As one Jew told the shliach after Nosson left, “Can we get that student rabbi here more often? I love hearing his speeches. He is so sincere, and so lovable, I just want to do whatever he encourages.”

Nosson utilized his famous sense of humor and outstanding lebedikeit to further his Chabad work. For example, this past Chanukah, he helped organize a public menorah-lighting, and it began raining. Instead of sticking with the program (speeches), Nosson told the musicians to crank it up, grabbed some men, and began dancing. Everyone was surprised but joined in, perhaps thinking that dancing in the rain on Chanukah was another Chassidic custom.

Frequently, when the bachurim were on their way to an event, Nosson would spot a mall or office building and say, “Wait! Let’s go in there and find some Jews who need to put on Tefillin!” The bachurim would quickly fan out and cover the building, put on Tefillin with some Yidden (some for the first time ever), and then rush back to the vehicle to get to their destination.

The last thing Nosson learned was the part of Shaar Hayichud v’Ha-emunah that says we cannot understand Hashem’s ways.

Nosson leaves behind his shocked and heartbroken mother, grandparents, siblings, and extended family; the hundreds who have come closer to Hashem because of him; his many loyal friends; and the bachurim and staff at the Yeshivah Gedolah of Miami Beach (founded by the Lubavitcher Rebbe in 1974 and headed by Rosh Yeshivah Hagaon Harav Leib Schapiro).

He was paid for his work as mashgiach at the yeshivah, but every month he would keep just the little he needed to live, and give the rest to his siblings who are on Shlichus in Toronto, Canada; Montgomery County, Pennsylvania; Chandler, Arizona; Tyson’s Corner, Virginia; S. Rosa, California; and Boulder, Colorado.

Family is sitting shivah at 518 Crown Street, in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, until Shabbos.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I didn't know this Bochur but had friends who did.

It doesn't matter. We should all take heed and take notice and do our utmost to act in this most outstanding way, and we must all continue to cry out Ad Mosai. Until must we wait? We want Moshiach, we want Hashem and his Torah, we want Emes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please have mercy on us and take away our pain. We know that the status quo is not good enough. The world we live in is not ideal. The world we live in is inadequate. Send us our righteous redeemer. Rebuilt Yerushalayim and the Bais Hamikdash speedily and in our own days. The sooner the better. PLEASE!

AD MOSAI???????

Yerushalayim - I miss you!!!!

2010-05-03T20:32:00.004-04:00

When I first moved back to Shmutz La'aretz I used to think about Eretz Yisroel, Yerushalayim in particular, every single day. I could see the sights, hear the sounds, and smell the falafel. I don't think about it vividly as much, but sometimes in my thoughts I return to my favorite place in the world.

I remember walking through the back streets of Meah Shearim and Geula to go to Yeshiva.

Sitting in the back of my dira and smoking hooka and watching all the people walking on Rechov Strauss.

Uzi Falafel at the corner of Yishayahu and Dovid Yellin (The best falafel place in the world and I don't care how good you think Mirro's is!!!!)

Getting coffee at Makom Bli Shem in the morning before seder and drinking it hurriedly so that I should only be exactly fifteen minutes late. (MBS also has really awesome omelet baguettes)

Walking around the schuna on Friday nights when everything is peaceful and everyone is headed to and from tishen.

Shopping/hanging around the Mekor Hashefa makolet with the funny belgian brothers who ran the place.

Davening at the Zichron Moshe Shtiblach (affectionately known as Zichmo, there is no place like it in the world, I'm sorry not even 770 is as minyan-factory-y as this place).

Cholent place across the street. (Nothing hits the spot like Cholent with cut up fake hot dog, and yerushalmi kugel with pickels at 3 am!)

The oldschool Chabad Shul / Beis Medrash on Rechov Ba'al Hatanya in Meah Shearim.
(Looks straight out of europe, nice mix of lubavitchers, yerushalmi lubavitchers, and random chassidim from the neighborhood. Sit down kiddush/farbrengen every Shabbos with divrei chassidus from alter chassidim.)

It's so strange how suddenly things which I haven't thought about in awhile were preserved so clearly in my subconscious. The neighborhood I called home for two years is before my eyes and I can just almost be there, just almost.

Video: Lag B'Omer Parade in Yerushalayim

2010-05-03T18:24:00.002-04:00

Thanks to Yeshiva Guy from over at Life of Yeshiva Guys

If you don't want to just watch lots of cute chassidisher kinder marching then skip to the end to see the funny inflatable people which Yeshiva Guy dubbed "Super Na Nachs"

Off to Yankeeland AGAIN

2010-04-21T09:30:00.003-04:00

Lets see if I can get it right this time.
Crown Heights here I come!

B"H for friends. Ive been telling my friends I'm coming for weeks and one of them texted me "Hey man, when you getting in? I'll come pick you up at the airport."

:-D

I was going through my clothing and found a green striped button down shirt. I was so shocked and had no idea where it came from. I thought maybe I took it from someone by accident but it turned out it belonged to my father. Glad no one came over and saw that with my clothes or I could be in big trouble :-P

Finishing packing now. The fruity pebbles I ate for breakfast + the nervous anticipation of this new move = stomache ache.

See ya'll on the northern side of the Mason Dixon line.

Kol Koreh: Save Rubashkin! via Yeshiva World

2010-04-19T13:54:00.005-04:00

The Yeshiva World

5 Iyar 5770 (19.04.2010)
In an unprecedented move, a Kol Koreh on behalf of Sholom Rubashkin was signed by Gedolim from all sects of Klal Yisroel, asking the Tzibur to act. Never before in recent history have so many Rabbonim and Rebbes from Satmar, Lakewood, Chabad, and Litvish Roshei Yeshiva come together on a signed Kol Koreh.

TRANSLATION OF LETTER SIGNED BY RABBONIM SHLITA:

To our Jewish Brethren Worldwide:

Sholom Mordechai Rubashkin is due to be sentenced shortly, and as the situation now stands, is facing the possibility of a very lengthy jail sentence, G-d forbid. US Legal experts have informed community leaders involved in this case, that the recommended sentence (by the US attorney) is overzealous and excessively harsh, and is totally unparalleled to similar offenses by others.

According to the experts involved in the case, phone calls and letters to department of justice (expressing concern) about this situation can be helpful. Therefore, there is a holy obligation for every single individual to get involved in this matter of utmost Pidyon Shvuyim , and to do whatever they possibly can to assist in this matter.

As well, anyone who has the ability to urge the department of justice or political officials to rectify the (undue) harshness (displayed by the DOJ) should get in touch with the committee as soon as possible, and do whatever they possibly can to help rectify the (undue) harshness, and hereby fulfill the mitzvah of ‘Lo Taamod’ – not standing by idly while a fellow’s blood is shed.

As the Shulchan Aruch Yoreah Deah rules (252:3): Every moment that one delays the mitzvah of Pidyan Shvuyim, when there exists the possibility to assist sooner, is tantamount to committing bloodshed. As the Rambam’s states famously in the Laws of Matnas Aniyim (8:4): There exists no greater mitzvah than that of Pidyun Shvuyim ; One who looks away from assisting in helping to free the person, violates the injunctions of : Do Not Harden Your Heart, Do Not Be Tightfisted and Do Not Stand By While The Blood of Your Fellow is Being Shed. The Rambam then states an additional five mitzvahs involved in this.

Our Sages have already stated (Shabbos 151b ): All Who Have Compassion on Living Beings, Heaven will have compassion on him.

May Hashem positively change the hearts of the authorities to good; May the cries of the imprisoned come before Hashem, and speedily extract him from his imprisonment.

Amen.
Month of Iyor, 5770.

SIGNED BY LEADING RABBIS IN AMERICA & CANADA:

Rav Dovid Feinstein (Mesivta Tiferes Yerushalayim),
Skulener Rebbe,
Rav Mordechai Shmuel Ashkenazi (Rov, Kfar Chabad),
Mattisdorfer Rov,
Pupa Rebbe,
Rav Shmuel Kamenetsky (Rosh yeshiva Philadelphia),
Rav Malkiel Kotler (Rosh Yeshiva BMG, Lakewood),
Rav Chaim Yehuda Krinsky (Lubavitch),
Novaminsker Rebbe,
Satmar Rebbe of Williamsburg,
Rav Yonasan Bonyomin Weiss (Av Beis Din, Montreal),
Rav Menachem Meir Weissmandel (Av Beis Din, Monsey),
Rav Moshe Wolfson (Rosh Yeshiva Torah V’Daas)

LINK TO HELP SAVE RUBASHKIN: Click HERE to see how you can help Rubashkin!

The BT Wannabe Litvak vs. The Real Litvak

2010-04-18T15:50:00.002-04:00

Something very refreshing about the hotel I worked at over Pesach was the wide variety of Yidden in attendance. There were ashkenazim and sefardim, modernish types, yeshivish types, tradional types, americans, canadians, israelis, FFBS, not so FFBS, BTs, OTDs, etc.

Aside from the warm fuzzy achdus feeling this hodge podge of Jewry gives me, there is something else I enjoyed - the opportunity to see how different types of people interact.

It was the night of the first seder and we (The Lubavitcher mashgichim and Rav Hamachshir) were all sitting together (those of us not on duty anyway). A man with a hat (not exactly the right type of fedora though, first give away) and trim beard approached us. "Gut Yom Tov!" he exclaimed. He then offered a short synopsis about how he became a BT through Chabad. He finished by offering the following with a smirk, "I don't learn Chassidus though. Mussar only!" and then turned around and walked away.

(Agav, I have never seen anyone so proud before about their non-limud of Torah. It was easy to read in between the lines the attitude of "No sir, I don't need any of that Chassidus stuff. I am just fine the way I am. My frumme grandparents didn't learn Chassidus why should I? Let me make a crack at you while I'm at.")

The next morning this man was sitting at a table with an older gentleman from Bnei Brak. You wouldn't call him yeshivish but you would call him a Litvak.
So Mr. Wanna-be-Litvak tries to show off to Mr. Bona-fide Litvak by freely offering up everything he knows about any Litvish Gadol he has ever heard of. He's talking about how much he loves The Chofetz Chaim and in between offerings he says things like "You met The Chazon Ish wow!!!!" The Real Litvak doesn't have much interest in the conversation but he is polite and allows The Wannabe to toot his own horn a little while longer. He is visibly impatient but The Wannabe doesn't notice.
Then The Wannabe makes his crucial mistake. "Do you like the Dubner Maggid? I love his stories?" "Stories? Who has time for stories? (I'm busy learning)" and with that he completely deflates The Wannabe and the conversation crashes and burns.

The Post Pesach Miracle!!!

2010-04-11T06:38:00.003-04:00

(I refer you to first read last year's Pre-Pesach Miracle)

Motzei yom tov I hastily packed up all of my things and my mother picked me up from the hotel. We went home to see Gramma and that is when it hit me. "Where is my wallet???"
I threw open all my bags and dissected the contents in desperation. I checked the pockets of every pair of pants I own. (99 percent of the time my wallet is kept in the pants I was last wearing. That means on motzei shabbos or yom tov that my wallet is in the pants I wore on erev shabbos or yom tov.) It wasn't anywhere. I frantically called the other mashgichim who did not yet check out "Have you guys seen my wallet??? Maybe I left pants in the room???" But they searched and searched and did not find it.

Grandmother queried me, "Did you have alot of money in your wallet?"
"No gramma, only seven dollars."
"So its not such a big deal then?"
"Gramma, I have a flight tommorow morning, and my wallet has my photo I.D."

I feared it would be at least a week now before I returned to my preferred residence.
Grandma found some papers with my name on it, papers from yeshiva, photocopy of my social secutity, etc, and said "Maybe they will let you through with these."

I went to the airport early as my flight was as seven. When i got up to the part of security where you are meant to show your I.D. I explained, "So sorry sir but my wallet went missing yesterday." What do you think happened... "Were going to have to subject you to a full background check."

They call up the Department of Homeland Security and relay all sorts of questions to me. "Whats your name" "What is your address" "What is your father's name" "What type of car does he drive" "What is the intersection one block from your address" "What about in the other direction?" "Major highways nearby?" etc etc etc etc etc

The clock is ticking. I get to the x-ray machine. I hate this part of security because I need so many bins. I have to take off my shoes, hat, and jacket. I have a briefcase and a garment bag also. When I get to the end they ask me to stand by because they want to look through my bag. I consent and after a moment of digging they pull out a completely filled Powerade bottle. I totally forgot mommy had put that there. They chuck it and re-run the bag. When I am finally though it is 6:45.
I assume I am not going to make it because they are probably closing the doors already. I sprint.

When I get to the gate I discovered to my great pleasure that the flight never even started boarding because... a stewardess was running late. What luck! I look around and notice that there are many yidden in the terminal, especially yeshiva bochurim, seeing as how it is the day after Pesach. I am about to sit down to open a sefer when up walks a middle aged man and inquires "Excuse me sir, but can you explain to me the significance of donning tefillin?" I start to discuss it with him and based on some of the questions he asks I suspect he is a Yid. I inquired and he answers in the affirmative. I ask, "Would you be interested in putting on tefillin, I happen to have a pair right here?" He stammers and seems like he will decline but then he says, "You know what, I would absolutely love to put on tefillin."

I take out my siddur and he says, "It has been a long time since I have read any Hebrew." I reply, "It's a good thing this siddur has english!"

I help him say the requisite brachos and don the tefillin and show him the paragraphs of Shema in the siddur when I hear over the intercome "Will Airtran passenger Feivel ben Mishael (well actually they called my english name) please come to the desk."

I run up to the desk and I am informed that since I was the last one to check in, if no one else volunteers, i will be bumped to a later flight since this flight is overbooked. I was a bit perturbed (especially since it had seemed like providence had worked out just so in order that I would actually be making my flight) but I nodded and quickly returned to the man I had left in tefillin and helped him take them off and had a nice converation. That is when I heard over the intercom "Anyone volunteering to be bumped to the next flight will be compensated with two free round trip tickets to anywhere that Airtran flies."

I ran up to the desk. "Okay Okay, I will volunteer!" Just in the nick of time. Ten seconds behind me is another volunteer who is turned away since I got it first.

So on a day which started with me fearing I would not be flying at all, not only did I fly. BUT I flew business class, was further compensated with two free round trip tickets, and also helped a Yid put on tefillin. A Yid who didnt even need anyone to approach him, but who with burning curiosity, picked the one lubavitcher bochur in the terminal to talk to about tefillin.

(If you liked this story, please see my other stories about backwards mivtzoim

Nissan is truly a month of redemption!

The Worker's Prayer

2010-04-04T08:02:00.003-04:00

May it be the will of our God, God of our fathers, that I not be yelled and ranted at by crazed guests for things which are completely out of my control or have nothing to do with me.

I mean really lady - I understand you are not satisfied with the food service but I am ONLY THE MASHGIACH. I have nothing to do with the selection or quantity. I do not even work for the program, but rather the Rav HaMachshir. The next time you have a tantrum I am calling hotel security.

On The Job: Hashgacha in a Pesach Hotel

2010-03-28T00:06:00.002-04:00

Hello from warm and sunny South Florida!!!

Since last sunday I have been on the job as a mashgiach in a Pesach hotel.
I wanted to brief yall on all the action as it has been happening but unfortunately my laptop died AGAIN and I have limited internet access at the moment.
Tommorow I will be waking up at 4:30 to go open up and supervise the milchigs kitchen until 1. (Traded staying up all night kashering the fleish kitchen to milchigs and a treife kitchen to fleishigs for getting off at 11 and getting up early and working a long but relatively easy uneventful shift.)

Hopefully sometime tommorow I will write about all that has been going on.

Look forward to exciting tales of endless blowtorching and veggie checking!

I hope all of yall's Pesach preperations are going smoothly and as painlessly as possible!

Goodnight!

Fixed: Interviews with Rabbis Volpe and Majeski about Yechi

2010-03-15T04:31:00.003-04:00

Interview with Rabbi Volpe

Interview with Rabbi Majeski

From inside of the pit

2010-03-12T15:53:00.002-05:00

Looking upward towards the bright shining light.
Scratching at the sides.
Is there a foothold somewhere around here?

I suck at keeping Hachlatas.
So I'm gonna start small and say...

Negel vasser by my bed again (it's amazing how amazingly lazy/careless one can become)
Go through Likkutei Amarim again 1 chapter each day.
and errrrr...
well let's see what has become of this motzei shabbos. ^_^

I slept only 4 hours last night and I have endeavored to stay awake all day so that I can sleep early tonight.
Maybe tommorow I will finish tehillim before chatzos.

Good Shabbos.

The Most Absolutely Crazy Thing That Ever Happened To You

2010-03-09T14:38:00.003-05:00

The following is the most absolutely crazy thing that ever happened to me.

(I preface that this happened a couple of years ago and I only just thought about it for the first time in forever. I will try to be as accurate as possible but rest assured that the premise and general account of the story are absolutely one hundred percent true.)

I had eaten the Friday night seuda by a yungerman in Ramat Eshkol.
I don't mind the walk back to Geula because I absolutely love walking in Yerushalayim and even more so on Friday night. As I walk through Kikar Shabbos I see the following occur. There is a poilisher chassidish teen (of about 17 years of age) with his back up against the wall. He looks to be really really out of it. Drunk. Maybe possibly high.
A modern guy (sticking out like a sore thumb in this schuna) walks by and aggressively says Good Shabbos!

(Unfortunately there are certain people who due to some sense of insecurity feel the need to aggressively greet chassidim they don't know so that when the pleasantry isn't returned they feel like "ooooh chareidim dont have any ahava yisroel.")

The bochur says nothing back. He clearly was completely unaware that anything had been said to him at all. The modernish bochur exclaims "You Chareidim have no ahavas yisroel!!!!" and starts to make a scene. The chassidish bochur gets very incensed and it looks like things might escalate. I walk up and say "I'm sorry for my friend's manners, he really isn't feeling well. I'm going to take him home."

So I introduce myself and explain to him that he really ought to go home before he gets himself in trouble. He says "No I'll be fine I'm just out for a walk."
So we chat about stuff. Yeshiva. Sports. Other stuff.

Were walking aimlessly down Malchei Yisrael when coming from the opposite direction is... A rowdy obnoxious aggressive and incredibly shikker crowd of misnagdisher bochurim. I can already sense something really bad is about to happen. They start talking trash and saying really terrible things about chassidim in general.
Then they start mocking Rebbeim including The Rebbe. The chassidisher bochur walks up to their group. Their leader says "Oh does that make you mad?" and repeats something nasty. The chassidisher bochur reaches into his shabbos bekisher and pulls out...
A shiny metal pistol and points it in the big guys face "WHAT THE *&^% DID YOU JUST SAY" One of their guys steps forward. I push him backwards. "Are you guys brain dead??? Get the hell out of here!"

They scatter.
"Hey man I highly suggest you put that gun away. Your lucky no one saw yet. I think you need to go home now."

I walked him home and told him he really needs to think some things through.
"You almost just shot someone on Shabbos in public. Your head isn't on straight man."

B"H No one was hurt.

This was the most absolutely crazy thing that happened to/with me.

Feel free to share yall's experiences.

Shabbos Creativity Syndrome

2010-03-08T18:07:00.002-05:00

Only have ideas for worthwhile things on Shabbos YET forget about them completely once Shabbos ends and their performance is possible.

You can head south but you can't hide from the snow

2010-03-03T00:12:00.003-05:00

Got up this morning.
Put on short, tzitzis, and a robe.
Looked outside.
Rain with bitty flurries.
Ran to the complex swimming pool.
Took the plunge.
Gasped for air.
Put it on the Besht's tab.
Struggled out.
Redonned the tzitzis robe and towel.
Ran back to my apt.
Feet were numb.
Changed.
Grabbed my umbrella.
On the way to shul the snow started to come down thick.
I lit a cigerette and put in my ear buds.
Nothing will get you through a cold dreary time like fiery upbeat Hakofos niggunim.
It was thicker yet on the way back.
Windy.
Closed up the umbrella and let the snow cake on my face and body.
Laughed at my fortune.
Sang out loud as I walked down the street with the snow blowing around.

Back in the land of dixie and what follows

2010-03-02T07:49:00.002-05:00

After lots and lots and lots of hours in the car with my dear old pop's we finally made it home... At 4:00 AM.

My plans for the following indefinite amount of time were to be:

Get a job for after pesach.
Learn to drive.
Get a license.
Get a car.
Make lots of moneys.
Spend it on things I want and doing fun things with friends.

then next year get semicha.

then.... well all those things which come after that.

So I'm sitting here thinking about all this and about how after doing nothing last year, and only learning for half a year this year I'm going to be two years behind schedule when a friend messages me on facebook and asks.

"Hows Motown, did you blow your brains out yet?"

Let me preface.
I used to learn girsa with this friend for a little while in Eretz Yisroel after I left Mir. Well officially we were chavrusas for girsa but I think we spent at least half the time outside talking and smoking or walking around geula.
Anyways over the summer he asked me if I want to be his chavrusa for semicha and I told him "No, I dont think I'm ready. I think I should be in zal for one more year."
He said "where?"
I said "I dunno, maybe Motown"
he said "You're going to be so bored you will want to blow your brains out."
There, preface prefaced!

The conversation continued:

Me: yeah while ago. I just bounced.
Him: Where did you go
Me: back home, where are you?
Him: Place Y
Me: I thought you were learning semicha in Place X
Him: Its a long story...
Me: oh that sucks what are you going to do now?
Him: Go to 770 after pesach and learn semicha... I still need a chavrusa

...

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Baruch Dayan Emes Dovid Luna

2010-02-22T19:21:00.004-05:00

Was just notified that a good friend who recently left Yeshiva was killed in a car accident. I don't know what to say. I just want to cry and wake up from this bad dream.
Dovid we love you and miss you.

:-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-(

Baruch Dayan Emes

A Shining Time Station

2010-02-20T20:17:00.003-05:00

This was the end credits for Shining Time Station a show I looooved as a little kid.
I was sitting in zal when suddenly I remembered these visuals (which I havent seen since I'm little.)
This is exactly how I feel right now.
I want to laugh and cry and brech and scream at the top of my lungs.

Get out of jail free!

2010-02-19T16:00:00.003-05:00

Ive been complaining to my parents and friends for awhile (+100 points to those who told me I need to bounce awhile ago) and after finally complaining and talking with my mashpia enough he told me to leave the yeshiva. (Actually when I told him I want to leave he said "I'm surprised it took you this long to say that")

So... the problem is there isn't anywhere for me to go (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!).
So it looks like I'll be headed back to hicktown after Purim and getting a job.
I had to promise that I will make a seder of learning and that I will get smicha next year.

There probably isn't going to be much snacks or food in my near future so maybe I will finally lose some weight.

Things I'm excited about:

My tatty
Getting a driver's license and a car (I'm 21 so I think its finally time)
Recreational things to do and friends to do them with
Hockey Games
Kosher restaurants

Things I'm not excited about:

Not being able to eat most of the food at my house
Feeling like a quitter
My shul
Not being able to see all my new friends

Ugh should I stay or should I go now???

Someone TPed TT!!

2010-02-18T14:39:00.003-05:00

Did not (and would never) perpetrate this. Was just lucky enough to walk outside and catch it before it got cleaned up.

You didnt know what it was and didnt ask???

2010-02-17T20:06:00.002-05:00

Learning hilchos borer in Shulchan Aruch.
Halacha mentions a plant called Tormasin and a uniqueness of it which causes that taking the bean from the pod to be considered Borer.
Now I have no idea what Tormasin are so I asked a yungerman if he knows what it is.
He said "I dont know. I never came across it."
WHAT????
How can you learn this halacha, not understand what its speaking about, and not ask anyone??
For all you know maybe you have been doing the melocho deoraisa of Borer all the time!!!!

It seems to be some species of plant called Lupines.
Be ware.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-02-11T11:16:00.001-05:00

See title

:People are always leaving...

2010-01-28T21:49:00.002-05:00

I really don't dig yeshiva sometimes. I just want to get the heck out of here most of the time.
Then I started thinking about people in Yeshiva I have been really good friends with when I came upon an astonishing statistic. Most people I become awesome friends with either drop out, switch yeshivas, or get married. :-X
Knowing me is a segulah for your life changing a whole lot.
I was complaining about this to a friend who replied, "So be friends with yourself and it will bring good fortune."

MAZAL TOV to my roomie who just got engaged.
Lets make the most of our last days together in room 219 (which failed room inspection this morning woooot!!!!!).
As soon as I get some more cash there will be a beer here with your name on it.

The mikveh got turned into a what???

2010-01-26T19:23:00.003-05:00

BUBBLE BATH!!!!!!!!!!!!

(The posting of this image is neither an admission of perpetration nor an endorsement for any type of tinkering with of your school/office/public property's premises)

Bochurim arguing

2010-01-24T21:25:00.003-05:00

It goes on all the time in yeshiva. Bochurim arguing about anything and everything. The worst part is the people who always seem to be doing it never have any idea what they are talking about.
On Friday night I had to get out of bed several times to enter into discussions (which were going on in the hallway quite loudly outside my door) and save the side of emes because it looked like would prevail as a result of the side of wrong being a better arguer. People should just shut up most of the time. Or atleast not discuss things without supervision. We should get a mashgiach just to make sure that krumme kups arent going around outwitting emesdikker but uneducated people.

Soldiers, Generals, and Kings

2010-01-06T19:46:00.002-05:00

(The following mashalim are not mine but appear in Chassidus. I have just chosen to relate the way they were tied together by various bochurim at an impromptu farbrengen last night.)

There is a military parade in honor of the king.
Columns of soldiers file past.
The boots are all black and the bottons are polished. The rifles have been cleaned and the bayonets gleam in the sunlight. The king's piercing gaze reviews each and every soldier.
There is one putz in the back who isn't standing straight. His coat is somewhat disheveled and his buttons are dull. It isn't only this soldier who will be reprimanded. The general himself will be punished for not teaching his soldiers how to stand before the king!

hamayvin yavin v'halomayvin yishol

There were soldiers awaiting the king to come and review them.
They were standing around for hours getting shvitzy.
One soldier not expecting the king to come soon goes to cool off in the river.
As he dips he hears the trumpets announcing the arrival of the king.
He instinctively runs back to the lines sans uniform.
The king is disgusted and inquires as to how a soldier can be so rude.
He responds, "is it my clothes who serve you, or me?"

...

Its best to be be in uniform and dressed appropriately.
BUT even if you aren't prepared appropriately atleast show up!

Sometimes we think "ech im so grubb I should present myself before the KING like this????"
but the emes is even if were grubb how can we be soooooo grubb to not show up.
b'emes it is impossible to even not show up because even if we don't present ourself in line the king will see us sans uniform in the waters!!!!!

Yidden show up and try to have your dress uniforms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear God in heaven

2010-01-05T19:18:00.003-05:00

please send us something other than greasy chicken and greasy vegetables for dinner.
For the fourth night consecutive I feel like my stomache will explode.
Last night and motzei Shabbos I got no sleep at all.
People see me awake in the hall at 5:00 and think ive joined Team Chassidishe.
Later in the day when I pass out into my gemara people will think me a masmid.
I can honestly say that I have no tayvas achila.
Oh and if you could spare a bit of coffee that would be great.
THX!

Positivity heard from chassidim

2010-01-04T19:28:00.003-05:00

from one chossid:

"We can smile all the time, even amidst a disaster, because were tough and we don't take it on the chin"

and what my mashpia responded when I said that I couldn't think of absolutely anything going right for me:

"Nothing is going right for you? You have got a very nice sweater! Should I continue?"

thanks anyone and everyone who has kept me sane over the past few weeks!!!

Back to Yeshiva... YUM YUM!

2009-12-20T21:52:00.002-05:00

Icy moustache

2009-12-17T15:06:00.003-05:00

The temperature here:

3°F
Feels Like
-16°F
(Weather.com)

I walked home (well... where I'm staying) from shul and by the time I arrived I noticed that somehow ice had formed in my moustache. It must have be from sublimation or something like that because I did not have any liquids there when I left. Then when I arrived no one answered the door. I stood outside for around twenty minutes reading "Mystical Concepts in Chassidus" which is appended to the back of the Hebrew-English Tanya.

Then B"H someone answered the door.

Camera was dead so no pictures.

Who would have known...

2009-12-15T01:54:00.003-05:00

"Moshiach Now"
would make an elderly man roll up his sleeve and start crying.
Then we all hugged and told him that he won and that because he won we all won and even those people which he thought lost won too!

The Almighty God

2009-12-13T21:42:00.002-05:00

I was about to a light a menora at an old age home when an elderly woman asked me which synagogue I belong to. I told her that I don't go to any of the local synagogues but that I am a yeshiva student and helping the local Chabad rabbi.
She told me "Oh well I am a member of the Reconstructionist synagogue. The important thing is that we all believe in One Almighty God."
I didn't have the chutzpah to ask her what she thinks The One Almighty God does or want's besides adherence to ambiguous contemporary morality.
She also apparently doesn't understand that she isn't even supposed to believe in a divine supernatural power according to the Reconstructionist platform...
Hashem should help.

A foolish response

2009-12-13T21:37:00.003-05:00

If someone was being threatened with a firing or divorce (we shouldn't know from such things)
their response would never be "But I'm a good person!"

I'm on strike

2009-12-02T19:03:00.003-05:00

How can you tell me to learn b'iyun but when I have a question be too busy talking to people who aren't even in our shiur? How can you not be holding shtark in the sugya but expect me to know it inside and out?

How can yall tell bochurim to have and speak with a mashpia... but never be available for them to speak to you?

How can you call yourself rebbeim and the hahala, when you function as neither?

If I were a fryak you would pay attention to me, why as a yeshiva bochur should I be ignored?

I am in your Yeshiva and you are allegedly supposed to be the staff of the very same!

If you wont teach, I won't learn.
I see no need to come to the zal and pretend.
Lets be honest with each other and stop pretending that there is a Yeshiva going on over here.

The Miracle That Saved Pesach

2009-11-18T02:47:00.002-05:00

b"h I did not even need to use the literary exercise I mentioned two posts ago.
I was sitting by a friend's birthday farbrengen when someone gave a mashel which reminded me of this story which happened last erev pesach.

I flew standby to NYC to be by The Rebbe for his birthday.
I decided to stay a few extra days to hang out with friends.
I did not realise that the weekend of erev Pesach coincided with a big goyishe holiday.
I arrive at the airport in the afternoon the day before erev Pesach.
It is busy as all hell. I am not called to get on any of the flights that day or night.
I call a friend, and he picks me up. I eat dinner at his house and crash on the couch for a few hours before heading back to the airport between 3 and 4 am.

All of the flights for the rest of the day (erev pesach mamash) are completely booked.
At this point I figure I will stay at the airport until the last practical moment before making my way back to the nearest neighborhood and playing the role of the one who does not have what to eat.

I set my alarm to the time of the first flight of the day and then go to sleep on a bench in an unfilled area of the terminal. It seems that while I am asleep somewhere between 30 - 50 cheerleaders decide to all sit in this part of the terminal in all of the surrounding seats.
I wake up due to the intolerable amount of girly chatter.
I am about to be really pissed off (considering the circumstances and my already stressful position).
Suddenly there is an announcement on the PA system, "Anyone flying standby to Atlanta - please approach gate 7 to receive a definite ticket for the 2 oclock flight now."
I am so excited and relieved.
I jump from my seat with the intention to sprint and be the first one there (I am worried if there is a limited amount of tickets). My foot had fallen asleep while I was sleeping and when I put my weight on it I twist my ankle and fall to the floor. All of the girls laugh. My ankle is on fire with pain. I don't care at all. I am so happy to be going home for Pesach a mere few hours before it starts that the pure emotion and adrenaline of it all lifts me off of the floor and pushes me in the right direction. Let them laugh. I got the better deal. Whats a twisted ankle when you are miraculously going home for Pesach?

(It was poshut a miracle. All of the tickets for all day were booked. It seems like there must have been a problem with one of the planes or something and they replaced with a larger one and therefore had many more tickets to give out. All for a Yid who wasn't scared but really wanted to be home for Pesach.)

Two Stories of Mivtzoim M'Mela

2009-11-16T23:58:00.002-05:00

1. I am standing outside of a Super WalMart in Lexinton, Tenn. (I.E. The middle of no where in particular.) A local in shorts and a t-shirt with long gray hair in a pony tail approached me.
He asked "Excuse me, are you Jewish?"
I apprehensively answered in the affirmative.
"Yeah I saw them strings hanging out of your shirt and that hat on your head."
He then added,
"I grew up in Flatbush so I know all about that"
before ultimately clarifying,
"I never thought I would see a landsmahn out around here."
He told me how he strayed far from the ways of his upbringing but that sometimes when he is driving his truck down the long country road he finds himself humming tunes he remembers from synagogue and hebrew school. He told me about how onetime in 'Nam he was involved in a 10 hour gunfight. When everything settled they handed out rations. He peeled open the tin before the following thought entered his mind (I quote loosely):
"Damnit, Pork... Shit today is Yom Kippur"
The Pintele Yid!
I asked him if he wanted to put on Tefillin but he was too embarrassed.
He asked me to find a shul closest to him and gave me his e-mail address and we parted ways after some other small talk.

2. I am standing a few blocks from Times Square. It is around 1 AM on a Saturday night.
It is me, a yeshiva bochur, and a group of college kids who are in town for the Shabbaton.
Were laughing and talking aloud when three guys suddenly interject into the conversation.
It was really ackward.
They look really Jewish so I inquire.
The main one tries to pull off the "I'm half-Jewish."
After clarification he is a Jew.
He says he has been to synagogue a few times. He is interested. He says "Im a Jew... I don't a hat like you but I'm a Jew."
I concur.
He would like to find out more about Judaism but he fears orthodox Jews as being too pressuring and narrow minded.
I tell him about Chabad.
I tell him and his two friends (who also are Jews) how they can find and contact a Shliach near them.
Afterwards he says "Sorry for the creepy intrusion into your conversation... I just could tell that you guys are Jews and felt like I needed to talk to you."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hashem your children are crying out for you.
After all this time have we still not merited our final redemption.
We are thirsty for the knowledge of you that will fill the earth like water covers the sea.
Have mercy on your children!

About literary composition

2009-11-16T23:51:00.002-05:00

My 10th grade literature teacher said
"If you sit down to write something and are still staring at a blank page after 10 minutes then you are a pansy."
He claimed it was better to repeatedly write "I don't know what to write" over and over than write nothing at all.

This seems to be the literary equivalent (lehavdil) to Rebbe Nachman's advice that if you want to talk to Hashem but know not what to say then just say "God I don't know what to say to you."

So tomorrow I am going to try to write a poem or atleast something creative and at worse I will end up with a monologue about how I can't think of anything at all.

How does this happen?

2009-10-26T03:36:00.001-04:00

I had a very detailed schedule of how I was going to spend this day and what time I would go to sleep... yet it is now past 3:30 and I am still awake!?!?!?

Was going to write a poem...

2009-10-24T23:37:00.002-04:00

but can't figure out how not to be cheesy so I'm just gonna come straight out and say that I was trying to meditate on the subway and I kind of slipped into a not so conscious state and got all trippy and freaked out from all the hissing and screeching. Scary stuff that subway!
(When you're eyes are open and you are conscious of your surroundings its not so much better. How can people be so indecent in public? yuck.)

Simchas Torah highs, lows, party fouls

2009-10-12T23:15:00.002-04:00

Wanted to write one long post chronicling Simchas Torah but it wasnt happening so now I will attempt to compose little bits and pieces and not in any particular order.
These memories will be remembered to the best of my abilities.

On Shemini Atzeres there was a farbrengen and hakkafos and then a group of bochurim went over to eat and farbreng at the sukkah of one of the shluchim.

between courses I got bored and decided that it would be a good idea to dance on the table. I climbed up and then pulled up another bochur and we began dancing. At the time I thought that this was the funniest thing in the entire universe and the dancing gave way to fits of laughing and then more dancing. I did a sommersault and apparantly there was a stray plate of mash potatoes still on the table and it got on my pants. Everyone was laughing and in good spiritis and I enjoy a good joke even at my expense. This was one of the high points for me.

Then we were farbrenging and it started to pour. We decided to stay in the sukkah. I didn't take my hat and jacket off for some reason and they got really really really wet.

One of the bochurim there had gotten really cut down at the earlier farbrengen and just lost it. He was sitting next to the son of the head shliach and the latter said something to incense him. He started off calling him names and insulting his other brother too. It was all completely out of hand but I felt that as long as the discussion was centered around people in attendance then there could be some constructive give and take. He ended up bashing their whole family and him and his brother just sat there and took it. Then he cursed out their father, the Rabbi, and said terribly disrespectful things. I chimed in that by being m'vazeh the Rabbi, The Rebbe's shliach, and pillar of our community, he was crossing into a whole new forbidden territory. He just continued his tirade so I stood up and got into his face in protest. He backed down, someone pulled me away, and then I went outside for a breather. I wen't back inside but I was so upset over the whole thing that I cried. Everything sort of died down after that and we all bentsched and set out in groups to walk home.

I was still very upset about what happened and there was a moment where the whole world seemed like such a dark void that the yetzer hora chimed in that everything is futile and were screwed either way so you might as well be nichshel in all sorts of prohibited activities.
I really felt like I was being pulled directly into gehinnom.
Pushed out those thoughts forcefully.
I said krias shema and easily fell asleep.

2009-10-12T10:43:00.002-04:00

Everything worth having a picture or video of inevitably happens on yom tov.

That superhero meme thing

2009-10-08T13:24:00.003-04:00

I just remembered that Altie tagged me to participate in this exercise.
I wanted to say I would use my superpower to bring moshiach but using magical mystical powers to force the geula is a no no...
Any of the other awesome ideas I had seem to come to close to taking away bechira from people...
I guess maybe I could do some low grade mofsim.

My purely selfish super power choice would be to have super concentration.

Not gonna tag anyone as I think everyone I know has already been tagged.

The not so sunny side

2009-10-05T10:19:00.003-04:00

55 degrees and rainy.
ritualistic immersion in swimming pool = brutal.
I do not envy shtetl yidden in the old country.
Weather has also put a damper on getting the Sukkah Mobile out and about.
Please stop raining!

The sunny side

2009-10-01T16:46:00.003-04:00

It is a sunny 74 degrees out and I am shvitsing waiting for the bus.
Then a goy waves at me and says Shalom and I forget all about the cruddy time I am having.
I love pro-semitism!
I honestly have met goyim before who are so pro-Jewish that if they were Jews they would be labeled radicals and would be scorned by the average american Jew.
A goyess one time approached me and a friend to tell us how in her church they pray everyday for the Jewish people to regain their rightful homeland.
Halavy that we would really want to be redeemed.

Television

2009-10-01T00:21:00.003-04:00

Last week me decided not to watch television when I am at home but present me finds myself spending time with a friend who does own a television and wants to watch a movie.
I suppose I knew this would be inevitable when I came over here but...
you can't just come home every once and awhile and be "too chassidish" for your non religious friends who need you. I mean this movie really isn't inappropriate... I hate toeing the line.
This is one of those times I wish I lived in a shtetl.
As per Altie all I would have to worry about then would be about refraining from loshon hara about who stole who's cow :-P

Shana Tova!

2009-09-18T14:48:00.003-04:00

May we be written and sealed for a good year with brochos for ruchnius and gashmius.
Above all else we should experience the complete redemption by Moshiach Tzidkeinu immediately.
I hope we get to hear the blowing of the Shofar on the first day of Rosh Hashana this year.
See yall in 5770!

P.S. Got lost in Old Montifiore cemetery last night while trying to help a friend find his grandmother's kever. We entered near the Ohel but ended up all the way on the very other end by a locked gate and had to climb over the fence. Rabbi told me I am crazy and not to ever go into the cemetery at night again. I think I will take that advice.