Monday, May 31, 2010

The heat has arrived

Its a million degrees in this here basement and I am faced with a dilemma.
I could open the window to try to cool it down a bit but the screen is broken and bugs will get in.
I decide to chance it.
It doesn't help.
Now I am swimming in shvitz AND the bugs are getting me.
I should get a fan.

Two summers ago I was still in Yerushalayim Ir Hakodesh.
The summer there can be absolutely brutal.
Our dorm did not have air conditioning.
We had a room on the corner of the building.
The corner rooms have windows on two walls!
We opened them up and plugged in four different fans which blew cool air all around the room. 
Two were aimed directly at the couch.
Geshmake!

Summer is here.
For most of winter I waited for this.
After a few weeks I will begin dreaming of snow again.


Thursday, May 27, 2010

A Jewish Wedding - Prelude Part 2

Its 2:32 AM.

Today:

Learned a bissel - Check
Shomered YYK - Check
Made sure maintenance man fixed the light fixtures, light switches, and toilet seat in YYK's apartment - Check
We got a hacksaw - Check
sawed off window bars and installed A/C - Check
Shlepped over the other bed - not yet
Picked up his Kapote - Check
Stayed up till the friends from down south showed up - Check
Walked one of them to where he is staying while wearing shorts and a t-shirt - Check (B"H it was 2 AM lol)
Took shower - Check
Sleep - hopefully will be Check

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

A Jewish Wedding - Prelude

Tommorow, Bez"h, a close friend of mine, who I have had the privilege of having as a roommate and a confidante, is getting married. He, being the chosson, is probably very nervous. But there are definitely other parties that are nervous. Maybe not equally nervous but nervous none-the-less. I am sure that I speak for numerous individuals who count themselves among his friends when I say, "Mazal Tov, but you sure as all hell better not forget your crew." It feels terrible to say, because I know YYK would never do that, but in some sort of scary way it feels like I have to give something up... Like when we walk from the Chosson's Tish to the bedeken were dropping off OUR chosson sheyichiyeh and now he is all grown up and flying the coop. In some sort of way I feel like what I think parents feel like when their children graduate and leave home. There goes OUR chossson, OUR bochur. Out into the real world, bigger, and greater things... bla bla bla.
We'll be watching as you stretch your wings and fly away. Make sure to visit or call or send a postcard!!!!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Pashkevil: Go Out and Fight - The Desecration of Graves in Yaffo


free translation:
GO OUT AND FIGHT TOMORROW!
The blood of our holy fathers entombed in Ashkelon and Yaffo cries out to us with a silent cry from the charred earth:
"Save us please from the hands of the sinners of israel that stretch out to disturb our resting."

...
...
...


We will be going out tommorow, yom shlishi, parshas Behaalosecha, 9 AM

Under the leadership of: 
HaGaon Hatzadik Rabbi Chaim Tzvi Teitelbaum Shlit"a, 
Av Beis Din and Rosh Mesivta of Kahal Yativ Lev of Satmar Yerushalayim 
and
HaRabbanim Hagaonim Shlit"a of Kahala Kadisha Toldos Aharon

Why Villains in Scooby Doo Are Arrested


and every episode seems to be based around devaluing real estate by making people think it is haunted. 
Still... my favorite cartoon as a kid. 

Note: I did not make this graph, just saw it on GraphJam.
Disclaimer: I do not vouch for the content of the website GraphJam and there may be graphs there that you may find offensive/crude. 

Monday, May 24, 2010

Night Terrors

Because Nightmares are overrated.

I never seem to have those stereotypical dreams where you fall for eternity, or are haunted, or anything good like that. So far the best proper nightmare I had involved ice cream being served as lunch in Morristown. Just as soon as I sat down to enjoy it a van drove through the wall and lots of guys with machine guns jumped out and started spraying. Nothing can ruin like ice cream lunch like a war zone breaking out.

On average though, my nightmares are of a much more vile and menacing type. They are more or less wholly mundane situations that are excruciatingly annoying, and seem to take place over several hours.

My mother, my sister, and I were about to play mini golf. We wanted to play on one of the courses, but they wanted to make us play the course we didn't want to play. That was a whole fight. Then my sister said she wasn't feeling well but the course doctor (yes, in my dreams miniature golf courses have an on sight medical staff) was not buying it. I wanted to go home but even in my dreams I don't have a car or license. So I was forced to stand around for eternity watching the back and forth while really not wanting to be there. My mother and the doctor accuse my sister of purposefully injuring herself. I have been sleeping in the car and when we finally drive home I am in a daze and don't hear a bunch of things my mother says to me and subsequently get in trouble. The dream ends with me reading a note my mother wrote that says not to be so nice to my sister, and that some of her habits (which seem to be completely normal for a girl her age) are in fact evil and must be stopped.

SERIOUSLY??? There aren't any bogeymen or demons or stuff that makes you wake up sweating after a few minutes? Must my bad dreams be so dull that they take up hours of time?

In my most annoying dream I got kicked off of a bus and had to walk six miles down a straight country road to get back to town.

Good dreams rarely come and when they do they seem to last only a few minutes.

The one chassidisher chalom I think I ever had involved going to a yechidus by The Rebbe RaSHaB.
That was really warm and positive feeling but it was over as quick as it started.

So now, at 6:51 am, I am going back to sleep and maybe just maybe there is something worthwhile for me to dream about. I know I should be getting up now but what can I do? This doesn't fall into the parameters of hachlotos I have taken and I am too stressed out and groggy to begin my day now.

So for those of you getting up, maybe in my dreams we will be having a crazy adventure, but more likely we will be sitting in a doctor's office, or taking a math test.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Being a Shomer is exciting!!!

For maysim not so much but for a chosson it can be quite exciting.
We were walking on Troy (Eastern Parkway being the proverbial tracks that this could be considered the wrong side of) when the call came.

"The Kalla is where? But that's heading in our direction. How far? Two blocks away?"

"RUN!!!!!!!!!!!"

So, we dashed across the street and around the corner and onto a dark street I would never normally walk down leaving the resident goyim confused as to from who or what we were running.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Chareidi Autonomy in Yerushalayim!?

I always thought this was just around the corner...

Thursday, May 13, 2010

The alarmist post about marriage and shidduchim

It is starting to happen.
The second guy from my shana aleph (and my third friend my age) just got engaged.
From what I read, if I were a girl I would be freaking out right now.
I am not freaking out BUT  it does feel weird... almost like there is a race and we are all running trying to get to the finish line. When we all wished him mazal tov he smiled radiantly and beamed, "Im yirtze Hashem by all of you soon!" and though I know he really meant him, a part deep inside of me thought that a part deep inside of him was saying "Ha, I win! I'm done. Now I can hoist my trophy, and then relax and drink some Gatorade (OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG ITS ONE THOUSAND TIMES BETTER THAN POWERADE I LOVE YOU ORTHODOX UNION) while you guys are still running and running."
Then, I thought to myself... I haven't been running very hard. Uh oh.

Then I saw a Rabbi I haven't seen in a long time. I really never had much to do with him but I had to go up to him to make fun of his favorite hockey team's embarassing early exit from the playoffs. We laughed and made a bit of small talk. Then he commented about my new suit, and how "shtoddy" (am I the only person who thinks this word sounds stupid?) it looks for shidduchim.

I spent the night at a friend's house. In the morning I met his mother for the first time. As I drank coffee and ate cereal (I didn't think anyone would offer me, them being yeshivish and all) I was interviewed.
Where am I from?
Oh? do I know X?
Where am I learning?
What am I learning?
How old am I?
etc etc etc

I thought to myself, wow this woman is being nice and having a conversation with me even though she really has better stuff to do. (Which in all honesty, she probably was doing... but there had to be alterior motives too. She was too interested)
Until...

"Oh okay. I know about this Lubavitch girl. A good girl from the sound of it."

So I said,

"Listen, I really don't think I'm ready to get married. I only just started smicha and I'm just not ready."

So she said,

"Are you sure?? Let me just take your name and number and when your ready I will call you. You never know, some things are bashert!"

So I tell her my name and number.

"Okay, so when will you be ready?"

"Ummm I don't know???? Later!?"

Better get my stuff together.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Davening by Kivrei Tzaddikim. Part 1.

An argument broke out over on Bad4Shidduchim about the permissibility of addressing tzaddikim directly when you daven at their kevarim and asking them to act as a melitz. I believe Nosson G. from http://gtorah.com/ said it sounded like Avodah Zara, and Mekubal from http://hamekubal.blogspot.com/ maintained that it is the actual issur of dirush meisim. I maintained that not only is it permissible, but that you are meant to do it. 
It is certainly the minhag of Chabad, the minhag of Chassidim, and has much deeper roots.
Here are some sources.






Firstly,
please see the entire text of the Maaneh Lashon


and note the section taken from Zohar Acherei Mos Pg. 70b

and specifically this:




“R. Chizkiyah and R. Yeissa then rose and went on their way.
‘Certainly,’ they said, ‘when there are no righteous in the world, the
world is sustained only by the dead.’
“R. Yeissa asked: ‘Why, when rain is needed for the world, do we go
[and pray] at [the resting place of] the dead? For the Torah forbids [us to]
“inquire of the dead.”’
“He replied: ‘You have not yet seen the wing of the Bird of Eden.’.
The ‘dead’ to whom the verse refers are those who may certainly be
termed dead, i.e., the sinners of the heathen who are forever dead. But
of Israel who are truly righteous, Solomon says: “And I praise the dead,
for they are already dead”; i.e., they have died in the past, but now they
are living.
“‘Furthermore, when other peoples visit their dead, they come with
magic to arouse evil spirits upon themselves. When, by contrast, the Jews
visit their dead, they come in profuse repentance before the Holy One,
blessed be He, with a contrite heart and with fasting. This is all with the
intent that the holy Neshamos entreat the Holy One, blessed be He, for
mercy on their behalf — and then, for their sake, He has compassion on
the world.
“‘In regard to this, we have learnt: A righteous man even when he
departs from this world, does not [truly] rise above or vanish from any
world. For he is to be found in all worlds more than in his lifetime. In
his lifetime, he is found only in this [material] world, but afterwards, he
is found in three worlds, and accessible therein. This is alluded to by the
verse, “Young maidens ( עלמות ) love you.” Do not read עלמות , “young
maidens,” but rather עולמות , “worlds.” Happy is their lot.’”
We have learned: It is written, “May the Nefesh of my lord be
bound in the bond of life.” Why does the verse say “the Nefesh of my 


lord”? [Seemingly,] “the Neshamah of my lord” would be more
appropriate. [In resolution, it can be said, that] as mentioned above,
happy is the lot of the righteous, for all [three levels of the soul] are
bound together, the Nefesh with the Ruach, the Ruach with the Neshamah,
and the Neshamah with the Holy One, blessed be He. Thus, even the
Nefesh [of the righteous] is “bound in the bond of life.”
R. Elazar said: “The Companions said that it is forbidden to exile a
Torah scroll from one synagogue to another, all the more so to bring it
out into the street. Why then [do we take it] into the street [when
praying for rain]?”
R. Yehudah replied: “As we have explained, so that [the dead] may
be aroused because of it and entreat for the world.”
R. Abba said: “When the Shechinah was exiled, it was also exiled
from place to place until it said, ‘If only I could be in the wilderness, in
a lodging place for wayfarers!’ Similarly, in this instance, [the scroll] is
first taken from synagogue to synagogue, then into the street, then to
‘the wilderness, the lodging place of wayfarers.’”
R. Yehudah said: “In Babylon, they are afraid to take [a Torah scroll]
even from synagogue to synagogue, all the more so [into the street].”
It has been taught that R. Shimon said to the companions: “In my
days the world will not require this.”
R. Yosei said to him: “The righteous shield the world in their
lifetime, and after their death even more than during their lifetime. This
is reflected in the verse: ‘I will defend this city, saving it for My own
sake and for the sake of My servant David.’ In David’s lifetime, this was
not said.”
R. Yehudah said: “Why does the verse state ‘for My own sake and
for the sake of My servant David,’ putting [David] on a par [with God
Himself, as it were]? — Because David was found worthy of being
connected with the Holy Chariot of the Patriarchs, and therefore all is
one.Blessed be He forever and ever.”

and please see this Halacha Yomit from Rav Ovadia Yosef 





ש נוהגים ללכת בערב ראש השנה לבית הקברות. ואמרו בגמרא במסכת תענית (דף טז.) למה יוצאים לבית הקברות בתענית ציבור? לומר, הרי אנו נחשבים כמו מתים, וכדי שהמתים יבקשו עלינו רחמים. ועוד אמרו רבותינו, מפני מה נסתתר קברו של משה רבינו מעיני בשר ודם? מפני שגלוי וידוע לפני הקדוש ברוך הוא שבית המקדש עתיד להחרב וישראל יגלו מארצם, ואם יבאו לקברו של משה רבינו ויעמדו בבכיה ויתחננו למשה לעמוד בתפילה בעדם, יעמוד משה ויבטל את הגזירה, מפני שחביבים צדיקים במתתם יותר מבחייהם. ולפיכך יש נוהגים להתפלל אצל קברי הצדיקים, ובפרט בערב ראש השנה. וכן כתב הרמ"א בהלכות ראש השנה, שבערב ראש השנה הולכים לבית הקברות להרבות שם בתפילות.
אלא שכתב מרן הרב עובדיה יוסף שליט"א, שההולך לבית הקברות, לא ישים מגמתו נגד המתים, שכאילו הם יושיעו אותו ויעזרו לו, אלא יבקש רחמים מהשם יתברך בזכות הצדיקים שוכני עפר. ואם ירצה יוכל לבקש מן הנפטר שיהיה לו למליץ טוב, לבקש עליו רחמים מהשם יתברך.


Special thanks to Parsha Blog over at parsha.blogspot.com for having posted some of these maareh m'komos. 


More later. 

Poem #1

Upon hearing the command,
climb up out of the trench,
backed by symphonic cacophonous thunderous explosive concussive earth shaking booming,
acrid smoke allows for low visibility and asthmatic air intake,
charging with Godspeed,
caught by a speeding streaming silver bullet,
a shot placed prudently and precariously in the throat,
inability to scream,
collapse and crumple into the bloody kill zone dirt,
fingers clawing at the earth,
crawling towards tantalizing comforting but treacherous death,
a singular ray of screaming streaming beaming light,
a familiar face,
warm and innocent,
awake unscathed.

(This is the first poem I wrote in years. The idea was formulated months ago when I wrote that I will write a poem but I only got around to it last night.)

Friday, May 7, 2010

Retro Style Platform Flash Game - Mr. Runner

WARNING: Not to be played During seder or while you are supposed to be doing your homework / helping the wife / picking up the kids / mowing the lawn / cooking dinner etc.

Its pixely, fun, and challenging.
Reminiscent of oooooold platform jumpers.

Game after the jump!

My post regarding davening by kivrei tzaddikim

will be posted either motzei shabbos or sunday night.
I figured its best not to be hasty and to write something worthwhile rather than rushing it tonight (as I had previously said) when I didn't have enough time.
My apologies.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

A Glimpse Into A Soul

via Chabad.info


The best way to get a glimpse into the high neshamah of Nosson Deitsch, 21, who was tragically taken in an accident on Lag Ba’Omer in Tampa, Florida (where he had gone to help a Chabad Shliach with his Lag Ba’Omer event), is to look at his daily schedule.
7 a.m.: mikvah.        
7:30: mark down who came to Chassidus on time (he was themashgiach).      
7:30 – 9:00: listen to Hagaon Harav Yoel Kahn’s taped shiurimon Shaar Hayichud v’Ha-emunah (chelek of Tanya containing deepest concepts of Chassidus).     
9:00 – 9:30: review Likutei Amarim Tanya which he knew by heart, all 53 chapters. He knew them perfectly, word for word, letter for letter, with all the haga’osand tikunim.       
9:30: daven Shacharis, every word said loudly and clearly, followed by Tehillim 
10:30 – eat breakfast in 10 minutes  
10:45 – 2:00 p.m. – learn b’chavrusa Hilchos Issur v’Heter, with Gemara, (with plan to eventually seek semichah), every word said out loud, with full concentration.    
2:00 – 3:45 minchah and lunch. Nosson would eat quickly and then use his lunch time to call his mother (his father, Reb Zalman Yuda, z”l, passed away three years ago); eleven siblings; uncles; aunts; friends; cousins; and anyone who might need to speak with him. Nosson would use the remainder of his lunch break to learn three perakim of Yad HaChazakah by the Rambam, a takanah instituted by the Rebbe,  in 1984/5744. He also fit in his daily shiur of Chumash and Tanya now.      
3:45 – 7:00: back to Issur v’Heter.        
7:00: He would eat supper within 10 minutes. Ever since his little cousin, Alta Shula Swerdlov, a”h,was killed in a tragic bus accident in Jerusalem eight months ago, Nosson would learn (during supper break) for 20 minutes the ma’amarim of the Frierdiker Lubavitcher Rebbe, the Rebbe Rayatz, zt”l, in zchus of his young cousin.        
7:30 – 8:00: Nosson would learn Shulchan Aruch Harav with a baal teshuvah who is relatively new to the daily practice of mitzvos
8:00 – 9:30: Nosson would choose five of the younger bachurim with whom to learn the Rebbe Rashab’s ma’amarim.      
9:30: Maariv. Afterwards, Nosson would learn a sichah of the Rebbe.  
10:30: Despite being a very sociable person who enjoyed time with friends, and who enjoyed playing an occasional basketball game, Nosson tried to be asleep by 11:30 at the latest, in order to be able to learn in top form the next day.  
       
Nosson was the youngest of twelve children of the chossid and baal tzedakah, Reb Zalman Yuda,z”l, and tbl”ch Mrs. Cyrel (nee Edelman) Deitsch. Mrs. Deitsch is the daughter of respected Chabad Shluchim to SpringfieldMass., Rabbi Dovid and Rebbetzin Leah Edelman, who were sent there by the Frierdiker Rebbe in 1949.      
       
Nosson was named after Rebbetzin Leah Edelman’s uncle,  Harav Nosson Nota Zuber, z”l, who was a tomim and learned in Lubavitch (both the city and the yeshivah), and was boki b’Shaas.        
     
Nosson Deitsch, too, was well known for being an outstanding masmid and a “top bachur.”  

Like his father before him, Nosson would reward younger bachurim as well as his many nephews,kein yirbu, for learning Tanya b’al peh. He got them excited about learning Tanya, and he knew that mitoch shelo lishma ba lishma.      

Like his father before him, Nosson was a Lubavitcher chossid with his entire heart, soul, and all hiskochos. Every Sunday he would write a letter to the Rebbe and fax it to the Ohel, where it would be torn up by a secretary and left at the grave. What he wrote in those letters is not known.

During a free Shabbos or bein hazemanim, Nosson would help Chabad shluchim. He traveled all over, wherever there was a need, leading programs, learning and putting on Tefillin with Yidden, and adding tochen and freilichkeit to Chabad events.

He made a tremendous impact on the people he met. As one Jew told the shliach after Nosson left, “Can we get that student rabbi here more often? I love hearing his speeches. He is so sincere, and so lovable, I just want to do whatever he encourages.”        
         
Nosson utilized his famous sense of humor and outstanding lebedikeit to further his Chabad work. For example, this past Chanukah, he helped organize a public menorah-lighting, and it began raining. Instead of sticking with the program (speeches), Nosson told the musicians to crank it up, grabbed some men, and began dancing. Everyone was surprised but joined in, perhaps thinking that dancing in the rain on Chanukah was another Chassidic custom.        
         
Frequently, when the bachurim were on their way to an event, Nosson would spot a mall or office building and say, “Wait! Let’s go in there and find some Jews who need to put on Tefillin!” The bachurim would quickly fan out and cover the building, put on Tefillin with some Yidden (some for the first time ever), and then rush back to the vehicle to get to their destination.        
         
The last thing Nosson learned was the part of Shaar Hayichud v’Ha-emunah that says we cannot understand Hashem’s ways.        
         
Nosson leaves behind his shocked and heartbroken mother, grandparents, siblings, and extended family; the hundreds who have come closer to Hashem because of him; his many loyal friends; and the bachurim and staff at the Yeshivah Gedolah of Miami Beach (founded by the Lubavitcher Rebbe in 1974 and headed by Rosh Yeshivah Hagaon Harav Leib Schapiro).        
         
He was paid for his work as mashgiach at the yeshivah, but every month he would keep just the little he needed to live, and give the rest to his siblings who are on Shlichus in Toronto, Canada; Montgomery County, Pennsylvania; Chandler, Arizona; Tyson’s Corner, Virginia; S. Rosa, California; and Boulder, Colorado.        
         
Family is sitting shivah at 518 Crown Street, in Crown HeightsBrooklyn, until Shabbos.   

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I didn't know this Bochur but had friends who did.
It doesn't matter. We should all take heed and take notice and do our utmost to act in this most outstanding way, and we must all continue to cry out Ad Mosai. Until must we wait? We want Moshiach, we want Hashem and his Torah, we want Emes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please have mercy on us and take away our pain. We know that the status quo is not good enough. The world we live in is not ideal. The world we live in is inadequate. Send us our righteous redeemer. Rebuilt Yerushalayim and the Bais Hamikdash speedily and in our own days. The sooner the better. PLEASE!

AD MOSAI???????


Monday, May 3, 2010

Yerushalayim - I miss you!!!!

When I first moved back to Shmutz La'aretz I used to think about Eretz Yisroel, Yerushalayim in particular, every single day. I could see the sights, hear the sounds, and smell the falafel. I don't think about it vividly as much, but sometimes in my thoughts I return to my favorite place in the world.

Video: Lag B'Omer Parade in Yerushalayim



Thanks to Yeshiva Guy from over at Life of Yeshiva Guys

If you don't want to just watch lots of cute chassidisher kinder marching then skip to the end to see the funny inflatable people which Yeshiva Guy dubbed "Super Na Nachs"