:People are always leaving...

I really don't dig yeshiva sometimes. I just want to get the heck out of here most of the time.
Then I started thinking about people in Yeshiva I have been really good friends with when I came upon an astonishing statistic. Most people I become awesome friends with either drop out, switch yeshivas, or get married. :-X
Knowing me is a segulah for your life changing a whole lot.
I was complaining about this to a friend who replied, "So be friends with yourself and it will bring good fortune."

MAZAL TOV to my roomie who just got engaged.
Lets make the most of our last days together in room 219 (which failed room inspection this morning woooot!!!!!).
As soon as I get some more cash there will be a beer here with your name on it.

The mikveh got turned into a what???

BUBBLE BATH!!!!!!!!!!!!

(The posting of this image is neither an admission of perpetration nor an endorsement for any type of tinkering with of your school/office/public property's premises)

Bochurim arguing

It goes on all the time in yeshiva. Bochurim arguing about anything and everything. The worst part is the people who always seem to be doing it never have any idea what they are talking about.
On Friday night I had to get out of bed several times to enter into discussions (which were going on in the hallway quite loudly outside my door) and save the side of emes because it looked like would prevail as a result of the side of wrong being a better arguer. People should just shut up most of the time. Or atleast not discuss things without supervision. We should get a mashgiach just to make sure that krumme kups arent going around outwitting emesdikker but uneducated people.

Soldiers, Generals, and Kings

(The following mashalim are not mine but appear in Chassidus. I have just chosen to relate the way they were tied together by various bochurim at an impromptu farbrengen last night.)

There is a military parade in honor of the king.
Columns of soldiers file past.
The boots are all black and the bottons are polished. The rifles have been cleaned and the bayonets gleam in the sunlight. The king's piercing gaze reviews each and every soldier.
There is one putz in the back who isn't standing straight. His coat is somewhat disheveled and his buttons are dull. It isn't only this soldier who will be reprimanded. The general himself will be punished for not teaching his soldiers how to stand before the king!

hamayvin yavin v'halomayvin yishol

There were soldiers awaiting the king to come and review them.
They were standing around for hours getting shvitzy.
One soldier not expecting the king to come soon goes to cool off in the river.
As he dips he hears the trumpets announcing the arrival of the king.
He instinctively runs back to the lines sans uniform.
The king is disgusted and inquires as to how a soldier can be so rude.
He responds, "is it my clothes who serve you, or me?"

...

Its best to be be in uniform and dressed appropriately.
BUT even if you aren't prepared appropriately atleast show up!

Sometimes we think "ech im so grubb I should present myself before the KING like this????"
but the emes is even if were grubb how can we be soooooo grubb to not show up.
b'emes it is impossible to even not show up because even if we don't present ourself in line the king will see us sans uniform in the waters!!!!!

Yidden show up and try to have your dress uniforms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear God in heaven

please send us something other than greasy chicken and greasy vegetables for dinner.
For the fourth night consecutive I feel like my stomache will explode.
Last night and motzei Shabbos I got no sleep at all.
People see me awake in the hall at 5:00 and think ive joined Team Chassidishe.
Later in the day when I pass out into my gemara people will think me a masmid.
I can honestly say that I have no tayvas achila.
Oh and if you could spare a bit of coffee that would be great.
THX!

Positivity heard from chassidim

from one chossid:

"We can smile all the time, even amidst a disaster, because were tough and we don't take it on the chin"

and what my mashpia responded when I said that I couldn't think of absolutely anything going right for me:

"Nothing is going right for you? You have got a very nice sweater! Should I continue?"

thanks anyone and everyone who has kept me sane over the past few weeks!!!